The Trial [204]
back in his seat, with fingers tightly pressed together, and trembling with emotion. 'Nay, Leonard; may not the dear child be the first to rejoice in the fulfilment of her own sweet note of comfort? They could not harm the innocent.' 'Not innocent,' he said, 'not innocent of causing all the discord that has ended in their exile, and the dear child's death.' 'Then this is what has preyed on you, and changed you so much more of late,' said Dr. May. 'When I knew that I was indeed guilty of _her_ death,' said Leonard, in a calm full conviction of too long standing to be accompanied with agitation, though permanently bowing him down. 'And you never spoke of this: not to the chaplain?' 'I never could. It would have implied all the rest that he could not believe. And it would not have changed the fact.' 'The aspect of it may change, Leonard. You know yourself how many immediate causes combined, of which you cannot accuse yourself--your brother's wrongheadedness, and all the rest. And,' added the Doctor, recovering himself, 'you do see it in other aspects, I know. Think of the spirit set free to be near you--free from the world that has gone so hard with you!' 'I can't keep that thought long; I'm not worthy of it.' Again he was silent; but presently said, as with a sudden thought, 'You would have told me if there were any news of Ave.' 'No, there has been no letter since her last inclosure for you,' and then Dr. May gave the details from the papers on the doings of Henry's division of the army. 'Will Henry let me be with them?' said Leonard, musingly. 'They will come home, depend upon it. You must wait till you hear.' Leonard thought a little while, then said, 'Where did you say I was to go, Dr. May?' 'Where, indeed? Home, Leonard--home. Ethel is waiting for us. To the High Street.' Leonard looked up again with his bewildered face, then said, 'I know what you do with me will be right, but--' 'Had you rather not?' said the Doctor, startled. 'Rather!' and the Doctor, to his exceeding joy, saw the fingers over his eyes moist with the tears they tried to hide; 'I only meant--' he added, with an effort, 'you must think and judge--I can't think-- whether I ought.' 'If you ask me that,' said Dr. May, earnestly, 'all I have to say is, that I don't know what palace is worthy of you.' There was not much said after that; and the Doctor fell asleep, waking only at the halts at stations to ask where he was. At last came 'Blewer!' and as the light shone on the clock, Leonard said, 'A quarter past twelve! It is the very train I went by! Is it a dream?' Ten minutes more, and 'Stoneborough' was the cry. Hastily springing out, shuffling the tickets into the porter's hand, and grappling Leonard's arm as if he feared an escape, Dr. May hurried him into the empty streets, and strode on in silence. The pull at the door-bell was answered instantly by Ethel herself. She held out her hand, and grasped that which Leonard had almost withheld, shrinking as from too sudden a vision; and then she ardently exchanged kisses with her father. 'Where's Tom? Gone to bed?' said Dr. May, stepping into the bright drawing-room. 'No,' said Ethel, demurely; 'he is gone--he is gone to America.' The Doctor gave a prodigious start, and looked at her again. 'He went this afternoon ' she said. 'There is some matter about the 'Diseases of Climate' that he must settle before the book is published; and he thought he could best be spared now. He has left messages that I will give you by and by; but you must both be famished.' Her looks indicated that all was right, and both turned to welcome the guest, who stood where the first impulse had left him, in the hall, not moving forward, till he was invited in to the fire, and the meal already spread. He then obeyed, and took the place pointed out; while the Doctor nervously expatiated on the cold, damp, and changes of train; and Ethel, in the active bashfulness of hidden agitation, made tea, cut bread, carved chicken, and waited on them with double assiduity, as Leonard, though eating as a man who had fasted since early