The Trouble With Eden - Lawrence Block [173]
No shock treatments, Peter thought. Definitely not that. They had agreed on that point at the beginning.
The nurse said something to Moeloth, who turned to Peter. “Robin, your mother would like to talk to you before they show her to her quarters.”
To her cell, he thought. He looked at Gretchen. She was smiling at him.
He walked toward her.
“Oh, Robin,” she said. “It’s all so difficult. I’ve been so bad.”
“It’s all right,” he heard himself say.
“I’ve been a bad mother.”
“You’re a wonderful mother.”
“My poor baby.” She turned to one of the matrons. “Let me say good-bye to my son,” she said.
Warren was saying something cautionary. The matrons still held her arms. But Peter could not walk away, could not deny her this.
He said, “It’s all right. Please let her go, please give us a minute.” The matrons dropped their grip and moved just a few yards away. “Please,” he said to them. “Let us have some room.”
He did not know what she would do. It did not matter what she would do. He walked to her and she held out both her hands. He took them in his.
“Oh, my son,” she said, and moved to embrace him. She whispered quickly in his ear. They spoke in whispers until she released him and held his hands again. Her expression became maternal. “Mother loves you,” she said. “Always remember that, Robin.” Then she turned from him and went to join the matrons.
“How are you holding up, Peter?”
They had been driving in absolute silence for about ten minutes. He did not answer immediately and Warren had to repeat the question.
“I’m all right,” he said.
“It’s over now.”
“Yeah.”
“She even acknowledged you as her son. I wondered if she wouldn’t try that. She used it to convince them of her sanity, and all it did was reinforce the illusion.”
“That’s not why she did it.”
“It’s not?”
“No. She wanted to be able to say good-bye to me. She had something she wanted to tell me. She—”
He broke then. Warren slowed the car, pulled onto the shoulder. He reached a hand toward Peter, then withdrew it without touching him. Peter said, “You might as well drive. I’m all right.” He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath. “She said—I don’t know if I can say this—”
“You don’t have to.”
“She said she was sorry she lost control, but she didn’t realize it was all part of the plan, and that we couldn’t tell her in advance because it would have ruined her performance. She said she understood, and she begged me to forgive her for the one moment when she stopped trusting me. And to tell you she was sorry. She was sorry.”
Warren didn’t say anything.
“She said it was wonderful of me to lead them away from Robin. That I should be very careful not to put myself in danger while I was playing the part of Robin. I don’t remember everything she said. Let me think. She’s going to keep on eating. That’s part of it. She knows she’ll be strong as long as she keeps on eating. And nothing will ever break her will. She kept saying that she was strong, and that I would have to be strong, too.”
“And you’re positive none of this was an act.”
“No, absolutely not. I didn’t realize she loved me that completely.” His voice cracked but he checked it. “It’s all so awful. She’s in there and she’ll never get out. She won’t, will she?”
“Dr. Loewenstein would offer hope. No, she’ll never get out.”
“That fucking place. Anybody could put anybody else away. You sign a slip of paper and two dykes from a ladies’ football team take her away. It shouldn’t be that easy.”
“It’s not. Give me a cigarette, will you? Thank you. It’s not that easy. I had to show identification. They were very apologetic but explained it was procedure. And then when I filled out certain forms I forgot a detail and had my nurse called at her home. Anne supplied the missing details.”
“What happens if they call the real Dr. Loewenstein?”
“He’ll have to say the right things. What possible choice does he have? David knew that when he agreed. He also knows there’s little likelihood of it. I made it clear to Moeloth that she was not to be regarded as my patient. No, it was a good charade, Peter. There was