The Tudor Secret - C. W. Gortner [80]
There was a long silence. Kate’s hair draped like a curtain about her. She lifted tear-filled eyes. “Forgive me for how I spoke of her death. It was selfish. I … I didn’t want you to hurt.”
I kissed her. “My brave Kate, you couldn’t have prevented my pain. It happened long before I met you. I lost Alice on that day they took her from me. The woman I met in His Majesty’s chamber wasn’t the woman I knew. Now I know the truth. I know she didn’t abandon me. Lady Dudley must have ordered her taken on the road, and Shelton was her accomplice.”
“But why would they do such a terrible thing? It happened long before the King fell ill, yes? Why did they want you to believe she was dead?”
I smiled grimly. “I’ve been asking myself the same thing. I think it’s because of what she knew. I’m certain of it. Mistress Alice knew who I am.”
She stared at me. “Does this have something to do with that piece of jewelry?”
In response, I rose, padded naked from the bed to my crumpled robe. From the pocket I withdrew the jewel. The ruby caught the moonlight filtering through the window as I handed it to her. “I think it’s a piece of my past,” I said. A shudder ran through me. “Mistress Alice gave it to me, and I think it’s because in that moment she recognized me. I don’t think she knew me before; she’d suffered too much. But she kept that gold petal with her for a reason. It means something. It has to.”
Kate gazed upon it. “Yes, but what?”
I took it back from her, ran my fingertips over the fragile veined gold. “Mistress Alice never had much use for anything save her herbs. She didn’t covet material things. She used to say things took up too much room. Yet she kept this object hidden in her medicine chest for God only knows how many years. I went through her chest many times; she used to scold me, saying I’d intoxicate myself with some herb. But I never found it. She hid it in some compartment. She must have. I have a feeling that not even Lady Dudley knew she had it.”
I looked past her to the window. “Lady Dudley is the key to all this. She used me to force the duchess to agree to wed her daughter Jane Grey to Guilford. The duchess said as much when she held me in that cell. Whatever this petal represents, it must be powerful enough to have warranted my death. It might even be the weapon I need to stop the Dudleys—for good.”
She crossed her arms over her breasts, as if she felt a chill. “You’ll seek revenge for what they did to her.”
I returned my gaze to her. “How can I not? She was everything I had in the world, and they destroyed her. Yes, I seek revenge. But even more than that, I seek the truth.” I leaned to her. “Kate, I need to know who I am.”
“I know. It’s just that I’m afraid for you. For us. This secret can’t be good if the duchess of Suffolk wants to kill you to keep it quiet. And if the Dudleys used it against her, they must know what it is.”
“Not every Dudley. Only Lady Dudley knows. I don’t think she ever told the duke. She must have suspected he would betray her. She wasn’t about to entrust him with the only weapon she had—her ability to coerce the duchess. Without her coercion, without this secret, I believe the duchess would never have agreed to give her daughter to a—”
“Lowborn Dudley,” Kate mused. She regarded me thoughtfully. “Why don’t you tell Master Cecil about this? He knows important people. Maybe he could help you.”
“No.” I grasped her hands. “Promise you’ll not breathe a word of this to anyone, not even the princess—especially not her. Northumberland still holds power, perhaps now more than ever, and she may still need our help. It’s best that I carry this burden on my own for now.”
I silently asked forgiveness for my lie. I couldn’t risk exposing her to that frozen hatred I’d seen in Lady Dudley’s eyes, nor did I want murderous Stokes stalking her on the duchess’s behalf.