The Twelfth Insight - James Redfield [83]
She gave us a particular look, and I knew she was right. We were now in a template discussion. Everyone agreed that the Native traditions had always had the best emphasis on this Integration, although mystical Christianity and certain Jewish writings in the Kabbalistic traditions point to Afterlife contact as well.
“Over here!” Tommy’s mother was saying. We had all started to gather our gear, sensing we must move farther up the Mount. We dashed to the overhang and saw Joseph walking through the gate at the guardhouse and heading back in our direction. He eventually stopped and went in another direction for a while, then in another, apparently attempting to hide his true destination from the soldiers. When he was out of sight of the guardhouse, we could see him turning toward us again.
“We have to leave before he gets here,” Coleman suddenly shouted. “If he was involved in the attack on us, he might have soldiers heading our way right now.”
Many of the others seemed just as fearful, and I felt myself moving into deep anger again. My energy plummeted. What if Joseph had been responsible for Rachel’s death? What kind of monster was he? Here he was, walking around free and alive, and she was gone. My emotions were moving from anger to a vengeful urge to get back at him.
I suddenly stopped myself, shaking my head. Unconsciously, I had gone into a Cycle of Revenge, just that fast.
Tommy was looking down at Joseph and spoke up. “Wait a minute. He seems to be alone. And I can see no soldiers. I think we should talk to him.”
“He’s right,” I said. “We have to find out the truth.”
We all agreed and waited there until Joseph walked up. He appeared shocked that we were now in this location.
“You’re here,” he said, walking quickly up to us. “I wasn’t able to find my brother. No one had seen him. I am afraid he is with the Apocalyptics now.” Joseph’s face was sad, as though he thought he’d failed.
None of us responded, so he continued, “One of the soldiers at the gate told me my brother had ordered them not to patrol in certain areas of the mountain any longer.”
He looked at Tommy. “I think this soldier knows you.”
We were still not saying anything.
“Look.” Joseph was pointing to his knapsack. “He also gave me this.” He was pulling out a stack of papers. “It’s the Eleventh Integration! It tells us how to …”
His words trailed off. He could see we were still looking at him intensely.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
Everyone surrounded him and we asked Joseph if he knew what had happened at the Circle of Rocks. He said he didn’t, and when we informed him of the shooting, he was so genuinely shaken he had to sit down—prompting most of the group to welcome him back with hugs and encouragement.
“Joseph,” Coleman asked, “why did you come up to this location now?”
“Because the guards said there are many more people coming into town from everywhere. I headed up here because I wanted to see if I could detect anyone coming up from this side.”
Coleman and I looked at each other and then gazed down at the trail coming up the mountain. Dozens of people seemed to be heading our way.
As the rest of the group continued to talk to Joseph, discussing the Tenth with him, I walked farther out on the overhang, needing to think. I was still concerned by how quickly I had slipped into revenge.
How pervasive, I wondered, was this emotion in the world right now? Was it the predominating emotion behind the rash of school shootings, employee outbursts, and—on the international scene—the willingness to blow oneself and others up in order to make the enemy pay? Was this the way human fear and anger, in this time of transition, was playing out: wanting others to suffer the way we were suffering?
Colonel Peterson had said this Cycle of Revenge was growing into a nuclear phase, the urge to deliver the final act of retribution and end everything. I suddenly felt as if humanity was running out of time.
Where was Tommy?