The Ultimate Sales Machine - Chet Holmes [90]
Rule 8. Focus on Them, Not on You
Maturity is when all of your mirrors turn into windows.
anonymous
Most people live their lives surrounded by mirrors, focusing on themselves. They see their feelings, their needs. They think about how they are coming off to other people and whether or not they will get what they want. I love the line where a famous actor says to someone: “But enough of me talking about myself. What do you think about me?” Everyone’s favorite topic of conversation is themselves. So turn those mirrors into windows and you will be a much better presenter, salesperson, trainer, executive, or leader. The most mature person in a relationship is the one listening the most. He or she is thinking about the other person’s needs and how to meet them. If you can be this person when you are presenting to your prospects and remain focused on their needs and how you can help them, you will become a top producer.
Whenever possible, I start all my training by finding out the challenges that my audience is facing. After building a little rapport in a one-on-one meeting, it’s also good to ask, “So what are some of the problems you’re seeing in your industry right now?” After you gather all their challenges, a great segue to your core story is to say something like “Those challenges you’ve mentioned come up a lot with other clients. That’s one of the reasons we had some research conducted about our industry/market/profession. Our findings were so profound that we put them into an executive briefing that’s quite revealing. Here. Let me show you some of this data.” At that point you can open your laptop to present your core story.
The Three Modes of Communication
There are three modes of communication operating simultaneously as you present: your words, the tone of your voice, and your body language. Your prospect’s subconscious is processing all of these cues at once. When I teach this live, I show how the same words said with different tonality can change, if not the meaning, then certainly the perception of your prospect. Over the telephone, your tonality is going to be far more important than the words that you use. If you are insecure, even if you’re saying the perfect words, prospects hear that insecurity and their reaction will reflect that.
The most powerful thing you can do over the telephone is to speak with what I call a voice of authority. Sound important or like the issues you are about to discuss are important. That screams to the subconscious of your prospect. When I have a top studio head or the CEO of a $100 billion company on the telephone, my voice communicates that I am important and that what I have to say is important as well. Practice sounding like an investigating detective with a lot of authority in your voice. It’s a very powerful tonality and grabs the attention of your prospects right away.
In person, tonality’s impact is strong as well, but now your body language and facial expressions, no matter how subtle, tell your prospect a lot about what you really believe.
Everything you do from saying “um” to tucking your hair behind your ear to cracking your knuckles is communicating something to your prospect. And it may even contradict what you are actually saying. You need to be conscious of how you move and speak. Make your body, your face, and your voice work in your favor. Be confident on the inside, and your communication will show it.
For example, you can use your own body movements as well as theirs to take control of the meeting. As I just mentioned, in a large group, it’s a great idea to ask people to stretch. Not only are you bonding with the audience, but you are also taking control of the meeting by telling your audience what to do. When you walk on stage and immediately tell your audience to stand up, they feel they are probably going to have a good