The Unicorn Hunt - Dorothy Dunnett [124]
Before he replied, he measured the carpet and priced it. Then he said, ‘That was the truth.’
‘Yes. Why not? I do falter in vice now and then. Nicholas …’ She seemed to consider. ‘The child is the only subject you speak of. This one, or others.’
‘What else is there?’ he said. He picked up his cap and revolved it. The jewel flashed, and roused light from her wedding ring.
She said, ‘There are, surely, some other things we should talk about.’
‘Well, no,’ Nicholas said. ‘I think that would be rash. I think the less talk between us the better.’
‘And yet you have decided to have children by me? When you have conquered your –’
‘I must apologise,’ Nicholas said. ‘It was not an appropriate word. But you have announced some decisions quite as arbitrary. Unless you have altered your mind? You can still repudiate the boy and the marriage. You would find it difficult, though, I should warn you.’
She said, ‘You don’t even know why I did it.’
‘Don’t I?’ he said. Some of it, he had guessed. He didn’t want to know more. He had no intention of putting any of it into words. It would sound odd if he did. Your sister chose me, and I obliged. She had my child and passed it off as her husband’s. You devised a singular punishment. You planned to do the same in reverse.
He supposed that was it. There would be other reasons which were better not spoken. She knew that as well. Already, he thought, she was regretting the question. It was not to her purpose to explain, to accuse, to encumber the situation with needless emotion. With any emotion. He agreed with that, while reserving the right to frighten her when he must. It was all a question of control.
He imagined the convoluted journey she had planned for them both as if it were a battle plan, a tough and delicate model, its bridges, gulleys, pitfalls all carefully constructed and tested. She would give nothing away, risk no words that would weaken it. He understood that, as well. He said, ‘Then you had better not say any more, in case I decide to divorce you after all. Meanwhile, you are still of the same mind?’
He waited. It was a risk, but a small one. Whatever end she proposed, he believed that the path towards it would be a long one; that she meant to continue as she had begun, rather than end it too soon, immolating themselves and the boy – and the boys – in some self-destructive public confession. He credited her with having entertained that idea, among others. Above the gauze, the aquamarine eyes were assessing him. He was used to that, too.
Then she said, ‘I am your wife. You are prepared to call Jordan your son. If that is what you want the world to think, I agree. I will come to Bruges. For the rest, I may need a little time. So, I gather, do you. It may not be a bad thing if you were to go to Scotland without me. How long will you stay?’
‘Long enough,’ he said, ‘to do what I have to do. I am building now by Kilmirren. A hall.’ He had risen to move to the door.
‘For your children?’ Her voice, following him to the threshold, remained idle.
‘Oh, no,’ he said, looking back. ‘I shouldn’t think so. No. It will do until I have finished in Scotland. And before you ask, you will know when I have finished. Everyone will.’
He spoke absently, his thoughts moving into different languages which he had forgotten she knew. He had no doubt, of course, that she would discover the meaning, if he spoke the phrases aloud.
What is brought by the wind is carried away by the wind. That was one.
At night, a cotton-seed is the same as a pearl. That was the other.
She said, ‘I did not want him to die!’
She was weeping. She had no right to weep.
He lasted one week before he left Bruges for Scotland. And he left before Gelis arrived.
There was some logic, he could say, on his side. His ship was to hand, and the wind – rare in March – was in his favour. If he went, he could return all the sooner. And he had given a magnificent banquet in Bruges to celebrate the birth of his heir. His wife, being frail, had not attended.
He had left his business in order. Instead of taking Diniz