The Unicorn Hunt - Dorothy Dunnett [363]
He lifted his brows. She said, ‘He would never have forgiven me if you had died.’
Her voice was calm. The pulse that had wakened him beat. He could find the child. It didn’t matter, now, what she said, except that the calmness in itself was an affront. He said, ‘Remind me. In Africa, when you thought Father Godscalc and I were both lost, did you feel nothing?’
There was a little silence. Then she said, ‘Recently, you had cause to think me dead. I felt what you felt.’
‘I see,’ he said. ‘Certainly, it was annoying. All those plans gone to waste. Why did you go to wait for me at St Catherine’s? There was no gold. Or perhaps you didn’t know that?’
‘Does it make any difference?’ she said. ‘I wanted to see what you would do. So did the Patriarch. And he didn’t want you on Cyprus too early. On the other hand, I didn’t mind when you went. Did you go to Katelina’s tomb? I hope you did that much, at least.’
Your sister was a sweet lover, and urgent as you are, and wilful as you are, but never, never …
Nicholas said, ‘Shall I please you? For whatever rage, whatever hatred you feel against Katelina or me, you obtained revenge in full measure on Cyprus. Nothing would have taken me there but the hope of my son, and you and Father Ludovico between you saw that I had it. Yes, I prayed in the Cathedral. Yes, I left the Cathedral and went to the Franciscans’, and yes, I found there what you left for me. You are avenged. But in return, you cannot expect me to lead you to the child. And possessing the child, I shall need no others.’
She had grown very pale. She said, ‘That will suit the Greek.’ It sounded sardonic.
‘The Greek?’ he said, but she didn’t reply, shaking her head with impatience.
Then she said, ‘I suppose, then, I am pleased, to a degree. Better pleased than the Patriarch, who hoped to see you face East. We are not, perhaps, as interchangeable as you think. He may even expect us to part, honour satisfied.’
‘Honour!’ Nicholas said.
She jumped to her feet. ‘A meaningless word, isn’t it, between you and me? I use the same tricks that you do. We both cheat. I believed, finally, that Katelina came to you, and that you were kind to her, and that it was her own will to marry Simon and claim your child as his. I knew what she was like. But it wasn’t like that, was it?’
Because of the fog, it was very quiet. Or perhaps it was quiet for other reasons. His heart beat, and the other pulse, and he felt shaken again between the two, as he had, looking down on the gold. He said, ‘It was like that.’
‘Not under the waterfall,’ she said. And as he did not answer, she went on. ‘Your words in Africa. You were so amused: had you forgotten? I took her under a waterfall, as I remember.’
He had forgotten. It had been idiotic of him to say it. Gelis had desired him to make love to her, as he had to her sister. And eventually, it had happened. And yet –
He said, ‘How can it matter so much?’
She stared at him. Then she said, ‘How can I explain it? One might forgive a passing affair, with sad consequences. But to commit the act twice: to take the same woman, now a mother, now married, and make her your lover – that is not ignorance. Not on your part or hers.’
He stood, shaken by pressures and tried to think. He said, ‘There are different kinds of love, Gelis.’
‘I am eager to learn,’ Gelis said. ‘So what kind of love seduced the wife of Simon de St Pol? Was it guilt that made you try to kill him in Scotland? What kind of love made you marry a courtesan and turn your back on Katelina? And what kind of love did she have, that she died in Famagusta when there was no need for her to have gone there at all? Did you never ask yourself that?’
She was not composed now. Her eyes shone as if full of tears, and her lips set hard as she ended. He felt suddenly incapable of going on. He said, ‘I hardly need to. I’m sure you have all the answers. Just now, I think that is sufficient.’
He watched her collect herself. A tear had escaped. He watched it run