The Unquiet - J. D. Robb [129]
“If you loved him, I should think it would soothe. If you didn’t love him, I should think speaking of him would drain some of the bitter poison that remains.”
Poison. It was the perfect term for what simmered deep inside, tainting everything with its toxin.
She took a long time before answering, and he thought at first that she would resist.
“I suppose, since you’ve shared your story, it’s only fair that I share mine. It’s a tired old story, and one that has been repeated through the centuries, it seems. But each time it happens, it’s new. And horrid. And as you well know, a knife in the heart of the one who has been the object of such betrayal.”
Jamie waited as she seemed to draw inward.
Her tone went flat. “When I met Barclay Kerr, I was managing a posh hotel in Cannes. It was a long climb from my first job—cleaning rooms in my parents’ motel in our poor little town—to assuming the top post in one of the world’s most successful hotel chains. In all those years, I never had a real home.”
Jamie looked startled. “No home? I thought everyone had roots and history and a . . . forever home.”
“A forever home.” Bree could have wept at his choice of words. “That sounds so lovely. Instead, I lived in motels, hotels, and inns, doing the most menial of jobs, while spending every spare moment studying and learning and moving on. Along the way I’d met my share of sleek, sophisticated men who were also shallow and empty. I prided myself on being able to read a man’s character. Barclay was different. Or so I thought. Funny and charming and adventurous. When his friends grew bored and moved on to other playgrounds on their yachts or in their private jets, he remained behind to court me.” She gave a dry laugh. “Court me. Such an archaic term. But it suited him at the time. He was so attentive, so steady, so very persuasive. I admit that I was flattered by his lavish gifts. I loved seeing the reactions of my coworkers, who were in awe of the parade of flowers, the clever little surprises, and later the jewels and expensive trinkets that would arrive on my desk each morning to greet me. Barclay took me to dinner in lovely, out-of-the-way places. Seaside resorts and lovely villas. He showed me a way of life that I’d provided for my clients but had never personally experienced. I suppose he saw me as a challenge. One he simply had to win over. And slowly, gradually, he wore down my resistance. He asked me to give up my career and travel the world with him.” She looked down at her hands, clenching and unclenching in her lap. “I thought about the years I’d spent working to achieve my goals. And then I thought about the grand, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be with a man who loved me above all else. A man who promised me a home. A man who yearned to start a family with me. How could I weigh my career against my most precious dreams?”
Jamie had gone very quiet, choosing to stand beside the fireplace, one arm resting atop the mantel, his gaze steady on her. His voice was unusually quiet. “And he betrayed your trust.”
She swallowed and nodded. “He promised that we would start a family as soon as we were settled into our dream house. But he couldn’t seem to settle. Nothing ever suited his taste. We tried New York, London, Paris. Soon, he would say. Soon. But not yet.”
She drew in a breath. “He was out of town. Business in Palm Springs, I’d been told. I was in a cramped little apartment in San Francisco. We talked every day.” She winced as she touched a hand to the cell phone in her pocket. What had Jamie said when she’d first arrived? Did she really believe that a brief phone conversation was the same as intimacy?
She let go of her phone and clenched her hands together tightly, barely holding on to the rising tide of anger. “He told me how much he missed me. How eager he was to get back to me. Just hours after we spoke, I was awakened from sleep by a call from the authorities. Barclay had been in a fatal accident on a highway heading out of Las