The valley of horses_ a novel - Jean M. Auel [277]
There was only one way she knew to express her gratitude, the way she had learned in the Clan. She sat at his feet and bowed her head. Perhaps he would not tap her shoulder to give her permission to tell him, in the proper way, but she had to try.
“What are you doing?” he said, reaching down to urge her up. “Don’t sit there like that, Ayla.”
“When a woman of the Clan wants to tell a man something important, this is how she asks for his attention,” she said, looking up. “It is important for me to tell you how much this means, how grateful I am for the weapon. And for teaching me your words, for everything.”
“Please, Ayla, get up,” he said, lifting her to her feet. “I didn’t give this weapon to you, you gave it to me. If I hadn’t seen you use your sling, I would not have thought of it. I am grateful to you, for more than this weapon.”
He was holding her arms, feeling her body close to his. She was looking into his eyes, unable and unwilling to turn her eyes aside. He bent closer and put his mouth on hers.
Her eyes opened wide in surprise. It was so unexpected. Not only his action, but her reaction, the jolt that flushed through her, when she felt his mouth on hers. She did not know how to respond.
And, finally, he understood. He wouldn’t push her beyond that gentle kiss—not yet.
“What is that mouth on mouth?”
“It’s a kiss, Ayla. It’s your first kiss, isn’t it? I keep forgetting, but it’s very hard to look at you and … Ayla, sometimes I am a very stupid man.”
“Why do you say that? You are not stupid.”
“I am stupid. I can’t believe how stupid I have been.” He let go of her. “But right now, I think we’d better find a way to get those bison back to the cave, because if I stay here standing next to you like this, I’ll never be able to do it right for you. The way it should be done for your first time.”
“The way what should be done?” she said, not really wanting him to move away.
“First Rites, Ayla. If you will allow me.”
28
“I don’t think Whinney could have hauled them both back here if we hadn’t left the heads behind,” Ayla said. “It was a good idea.” She and Jondalar dragged the carcass of the bull off the travois and onto the ledge. “There is so much meat! It will take a long time to cut it up. We should start right away.”
“They’ll keep for a while, Ayla.” His smile and his eyes filled her with warmth. “I think your First Rites are more important. I’ll help you take the harness off Whinney—then I’m going for a swim. I’m sweaty, and bloody.”
“Jondalar …” Ayla hesitated. She was feeling excited, and yet shy. “It is a ceremony, this First Rites?”
“Yes, it is a ceremony.”
“Iza taught me to prepare myself for ceremonies. Is there a … preparation for this ceremony?”
“Usually older women help young women prepare. I don’t know what they say or do. I think you should do whatever is appropriate for you.”
“Then I will find the soaproot and purify myself, the way Iza taught me. I will wait until you are through with your swim. I should be alone when I prepare.” She flushed and looked down.
She seems so young, and shy, he thought. Just like most young women at First Rites. He felt the familiar surge of tenderness and excitement. Even her preparations were right. He lifted her chin and kissed her again, then firmly moved himself away. “I’d like a little soaproot myself.”
“I’ll get some for you,” she said.
He was grinning as he walked along the stream behind Ayla, and after she dug the soaproot and went back up to the cave, he flung himself into the water with a tremendous splash, feeling better about himself than he had for a long time. He pounded the soapy foam from the roots, rubbed it on his body, then took off the leather thong and worked it into his hair. Sand usually worked well enough, but soaproot was better.
He dove into the water and swam upstream, almost as far as the falls. When he returned to the beach, he put his breechclout on and hurried up to the cave. A roast was on, smelling delicious. He was so relaxed and happy, he couldn’t believe it.
“I’m glad you’re back. It will take some time to