The valley of horses_ a novel - Jean M. Auel [63]
“I didn’t think so, but how bad?” Thonolan’s eyes fell on his brother’s hands and opened wider with alarm. “There’s blood all over your hands! Is it mine? I think you’d better tell me.”
“I don’t really know. You’re gored in the groin, and you’ve lost a lot of blood. The rhino must have tossed you, too, or trampled you. I think you have a couple of broken ribs. I don’t know what else. I’m not a zelandoni…”
“But I need one, and the only chance of finding help is across that river we can’t cross.”
“That’s about it.”
“Help me up, Jondalar. I want to see how bad it is.”
Jondalar started to object, then reluctantly gave in and was immediately sorry. The moment Thonolan tried to sit, he cried out in pain and lost consciousness again.
“Thonolan!” Jondalar cried. The bleeding had slowed, but his effort caused it to flow again. Jondalar folded his brother’s summer tunic and put it over the wound, then left the tent. The fire was nearly out. Jondalar added fuel more carefully and built it up again, set more water to heat, and cut more wood.
He went back to check on his brother again. Thonolan’s tunic was soaked with blood. He moved it aside to look at the wound, and he grimaced remembering how he had run up the hill to get rid of the other tunic. His initial panic was gone, and it seemed so foolish. The bleeding had stopped. He found another piece of clothing, a cold-weather undergarment, laid it over the wound, and covered Thonolan, then picked up the second bloody tunic and walked to the river. He threw it in, then bent to wash the blood off his hands, still feeling ridiculous over his panic.
He didn’t know that panic was a survival trait, in extreme circumstances. When all else fails, and all rational means of finding a solution have been exhausted, panic takes over. And sometimes an irrational act becomes a solution the rational mind would never have thought of.
He walked back, put a few more sticks of wood on the fire, then went to look for the alder staff, though it seemed pointless to be making a spear now. He just felt so useless, he needed to do something. He found it, then sat outside the tent, and with vicious strokes, began to shave one end.
The next day was a nightmare for Jondalar. The left side of Thonolan’s body was tender to the lightest touch and deeply bruised. Jondalar had slept little. It had been a difficult night for Thonolan and every time he moaned, Jondalar got up. But all he could offer was willowbark tea, and that didn’t help much. In the morning, he cooked some food and made broth, but neither man ate much. By evening, the wound was hot, and Thonolan was feverish.
Thonolan woke from a restless sleep to his brother’s troubled blue eyes. The sun had just dipped below the rim of the earth, and though it was still light outside, in the tent it was harder to see. The dimness didn’t keep Jondalar from noticing how glazed Thonolan’s eyes were, and he had been moaning and mumbling in his sleep.
Jondalar tried to smile encouragingly. “How are you feeling?”
Thonolan hurt too much to smile, and Jondalar’s worried look was not reassuring. “I don’t feel much like hunting rhinos,” he replied.
They were silent for a while, neither knowing what to say. Thonolan closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He was tired of fighting the pain. His chest hurt with every breath, and the deep ache in his left groin seemed to have spread to his whole body. If he had thought there was any hope, he would have endured it, but the longer they stayed, the less chance Jondalar would have of crossing the river before a storm. Just because he was going to die was no reason his brother had to die, too. He opened his eyes again.
“Jondalar, we both know without help there’s no hope for me, but there’s no reason you …”
“What do you mean, no hope? You’re young, you’re strong. You’ll be all right.”
“There’s not enough time. We don’t have a chance out here in the open. Jondalar, keep moving, find a place to stay, you …”
“You’re delirious!”
“No, I …”
“You wouldn’t be talking like that if you weren’t. You