The Vampire Armand - Anne Rice [136]
I knew that she was dead. I knew. I knew she was as dead as the little one who hovered by the wall.
“Speak to me, please, oh, please, I beg you, I pray you, speak to me!” I cried out.
But neither phantom could look away from the other. The child with a quick soft tread hurried into the woman’s arms, and she, turning, with her babe restored, began to fade even as her feet once again made the dry scraping sound on the hard mud floor which had first announced her.
“Look at me!” I begged in a low voice. “Just one glance.”
She paused. There was almost nothing left of her. But she turned her head and the dim light of her eye fixed on me. Then soundlessly, totally, she vanished.
I lay back, and flung out my arm in careless despair and felt the child’s corpse, still faintly warm beside me.
I did not always see their ghosts.
I did not seek to master the means of doing so.
They were no friends to me—it was a new curse—these spirits that would now and then collect about the scene of my bloody destruction. I saw no hope in their faces when they did pass through those moments of my wretchedness when the blood was warmest in me. No bright light of hope surrounded them. Was it starvation that had brought about this power?
I told no one about them. In that damned cell, that cursed place where my soul was broken week after week without so much as the comfort of an enclosing coffin, I feared them and then grew to hate them.
Only the great future would reveal to me that other vampires, in the main, never see them. Was it a mercy? I didn’t know. But I get ahead of myself.
Let me return to that intolerable time, that crucible.
Some twenty weeks were passed in this misery.
I didn’t even believe anymore that the bright and fantastical world of Venice had ever existed. And I knew my Master was dead. I knew it. I knew that all I loved was dead.
I was dead. Sometimes I dreamt I was home in Kiev in the Monastery of the Caves, a saint. Then I awoke to anguish.
When Santino and the gray-haired Allesandra came to me, they were gentle as ever, and Santino shed tears to see me as I was, and said:
“Come to me, come now, come study with me in earnest, come. Not even those as wretched as we should suffer as you suffer. Come to me.”
I entrusted myself to his arms, I opened my lips to his, I bowed my head to press my face to his chest, and as I listened to his beating heart, I breathed deep, as if the very air had been denied me until that moment.
Allesandra laid her cool, soft hands so gently on me.
“Poor orphan child,” she said. “Wandering child, oh, such a long road you’ve traveled to come to us.”
And what a wonder it was that all they had done to me should seem but a thing we shared, a common and inevitable catastrophe.
SANTINO’S CELL.
I lay on the floor in the arms of Allesandra, who rocked me and stroked my hair.
“I want you to hunt with us tonight,” said Santino. “You come with us, with Allesandra and with me. We won’t let the others torment you. You are hungry. You are so very hungry, are you not?”
And so my tenure with the Children of Darkness began.
Night after night I did hunt in silence with my new companions, my new loved ones, my new Master and my new Mistress, and then I was ready to begin my new apprenticeship in earnest, and Santino, my teacher, with Allesandra to help him now and then, made me his own pupil, a great honor in the coven, or so the others were quick to tell me when they had the chance.
I learnt what Lestat has already written from what I revealed to him, the great laws.
One, that we were formed in Covens throughout the world, and each Coven would have its leader, and I was destined to be such a one, like unto the Superior of a convent, and that all matters of authority would be in my hands. I and I alone should determine when a new vampire should be made to join us; I and I alone would see to it that the transformation was made in the proper way.
Two, the Dark Gift, for that is what we called it,