The Vampire Armand - Anne Rice [205]
“I know nothing, because I know too much, and understand not nearly enough and never will. But this you taught me as much as any other I’ve ever known, that love is necessary, as much as rain to the flowers and the trees, and food to the hungry child, and blood to the starving thirsting predators and scavengers that we are. Love we need, and love can make us forget and forgive all savagery, as perhaps nothing else can.
“And so I took them out of their fabulous promising modern world with its diseased and desperate masses. I took them out and gave them the only might I possess, and I did it for you. I gave them time, time perhaps to find an answer which those mortals living now may never know.
“That was it, all of it. And I knew you would cry, and I knew you would suffer, but I knew you would have them and love them when it was finished, and I knew that you needed them desperately. So there you are … joined now with the serpent and the lion and the wolf, and far superior to the worst of men who have proved themselves in this time to be colossal monsters, and free to feed with care upon a world of evil that can swallow every bit of pruning they care to do.”
A silence fell between us.
I thought for a long while, rather than plunge into my words.
Sybelle had stopped her playing, and I knew that she was concerned for me and needed me, I could feel it, feel the strong thrust of her vampire soul. I would have to go to her and soon.
But I took my time to say a few more words:
“You should have trusted them, Master, you should have let them have their chance. Whatever you thought of the world, you should have let them have their time with it. It was their world and their time.”
He shook his head as though he was disappointed in me, and a little weary, and as he had resolved all these matters long ago in his mind, perhaps before I had even appeared last night, he seemed willing to let it all go.
“Armand, you are my child forever,” he said with great dignity. “All that is magical and divine in me is bounded by the human and always was.”
“You should have let them have their hour. No love of me should have written their death warrant, or their admission to our strange and inexplicable world. We may be no worse than humans in your estimation, but you could have kept your counsel. You could have let them alone.”
It was enough.
Besides, David had appeared. He had a copy already of the transcript we’d labored on, but this was not his concern. He approached us slowly, announcing his presence obviously to give us the chance to become silent, which we did.
I turned to him, unable to restrain myself. “Did you know this was to happen? Did you know when it did?”
“No, I did not,” he said solemnly.
“Thank you,” I said.
“They need you, your young ones,” David said. “Marius may be the Maker but they are utterly yours.”
“I know,” I said. “I’m going. I’ll do what I’m bound to do.”
Marius put his hand out and touched my shoulder. I realized suddenly that he was truly on the verge of losing his self-control.
When he spoke his voice was tremulous and lustrous with feeling. He hated the storm inside himself and he was overcome by my sorrow. I knew this plainly enough. It gave me no satisfaction at all.
“You despise me now, and perhaps you’re right. I knew you would weep, but in a very profound way, I misjudged you. I didn’t realize something about you. Perhaps I never have.”
“What’s that, Master,” I said with acidic drama.
“You loved them selflessly,” he whispered. “For all their strange faults, and wild evil, they were not compromised for you. You loved them perhaps more respectfully than I … than I ever loved you.”
He seemed so amazed.
I could only nod. I wasn’t so sure he was right. My need for them had never been tested, but I didn’t want to tell him so.
“Armand,” he said. “You know you can stay here as long as you like.”
“Good, because I just might,” I said.