The Vorkosigan Companion - Lillian Stewart Carl [45]
Elena Bothari is another Barrayaran woman frustrated by her native world's sexism. The romance of Elena and Baz Jezek is only sketched in, but I've always assumed that part of their bond is that they're both Barrayarans who can't go home again. She won't and he can't, but they have each other and a shared culture.
Miles is shocked when he realizes that Lord Vorkosigan has no sex life. Quinn and Taura and Rowan Durona are the lovers of Miles Naismith. The little admiral of the Dendarii fleet has sucked up all the passion and fun available to Miles's identities.
When a disastrous lie forces Miles to leave his mercenary fleet and rediscover what it means to be Barrayan, that includes finding a mate who will fit into his new future. He and Elli Quinn do their best to persuade each other to a different path, but Quinn won't settle on Barrayar and Miles won't abandon his homeworld. In the end, they settle for parting as friends. Which is a fine ending to a love affair, actually.
Inevitably, the love of Miles's life, the widowed Ekaterin Vorsoisson, is Vor. Like Miles, she has faced struggles in life that have seasoned and matured her. She is a "woman [who] went down and down, like a well to the middle of the world."
Though no warrior, Ekaterin doesn't lack courage, and she shares Miles's Vor values right down to the cellular level. To be Vor is to serve, even if the cost might be one's own life. To be Vor also means living by a code of honor. Miles is shocked when an angry Lieutenant Vorberg accuses him of abandoning Illyan, head of Imperial Security, who has been asking for Miles as his mind slowly shatters. Miles immediately answers the call, even if that means bringing down the fearsome walls of ImpSec itself. Both he and Vorberg understand that it matters to "make Vor real."
Hyperactive overachiever that he is, Miles almost loses Ekaterin by failing to understand her need to make him a gift of her talents. She, too, has her honor. As always, Miles learns the hard way, but he learns. Just as his military skills include the ability to bring out the best in those around him (a trait inherited from both parents), he is able to bring out the best in Ekaterin. And she is wise enough to cherish all that is special about Miles, while being entirely aware of his many and colorful shortcomings.
The essence of good romance is to show how two people suit each other. What is unique about each individual, and about their relationship to each other? What does he love about her, what does she love about him? Bujold shows such things with impeccable accuracy. By the time Ekaterin proposes to Miles in front of the entire Council of Counts, there is no doubt that these two people are made for each other.
Another Vorkosiverse romance that feels utterly right is that of Emperor Gregor. Gregor's cool, razor-insightful style defines him brilliantly. He serves the Imperium as he was born and bred to do. Yet when he falls in love, the object of his affection isn't a tall, slim Vor maiden "whose family tree crosses [his] sixteen times in the last six generations," but Doctor Laisa Toscane, a luscious and intelligent Komarran heiress. (What female reader can't appreciate the fact that the round girl gets the guy?)
It's a powerful moment when Gregor, whose life has been lived for Barrayar, tells Miles that Laisa is the one thing that he absolutely wants for himself. Miles gives Gregor permission to grab her with both hands and "don't let the bastards" take her away. Gregor deserves no less than a woman as lovable and loving as Laisa.
There are romances in virtually all of the books, because romance makes a great subplot and also they're fun. But the real Saturnalia of romance is A Civil Campaign. While the centerpiece is Miles's courtship of Ekaterin, the Koudelka girls fall for an amazing range of men.
In Memory, Delia Koudelka secured Komarran Duv Galeni, who had yearned