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From the other side of the classroom, Olive had been watching this carefully. Now she saw the two boys sitting down in their seats and she noticed, somewhat to her alarm, that they were smiling. And now, even more to her alarm, she saw Miss Harmony beckoning her over to her desk.

‘Yes, Miss Harmony?’ said Olive as she approached the teacher.

‘Olive,’ said Miss Harmony. ‘I want a straight answer. No ifs, no buts. Just a straight answer. Did you take a blood sample from Bertie?’

Olive looked down at the floor. ‘Maybe,’ she said. And then she added: ‘I was only trying to help him, Miss Harmony.’

Miss Harmony expelled breath from between her teeth. To Olive, it sounded alarmingly like a hiss.

‘You silly, silly little girl,’ said the teacher. ‘Do you realise how dangerous it is to stick a needle into somebody? Do you realise that?’

Olive did not have time to answer before Miss Harmony continued. ‘And then you went and told him that he had leprosy! Of all the stupid, unkind things to do, that takes some beating. Do you even begin to understand how silly that is?’

Olive looked up at her teacher. She knew that her position was very difficult, but it was not in her nature to give up without a fight.

‘Please don’t destroy my confidence, Miss Harmony,’ she said.

‘What did you say?’ hissed Miss Harmony. ‘Destroy your what?’

‘My confidence,’ said Olive.

It was at this point that Miss Harmony felt her self-control evaporating. She was a graduate of Moray House, the beneficiary of a fine training in the Scots pedagogical tradition. She knew all the theory of how to maintain control in the classroom; she knew all the theory about reinforcing positive behaviour. She also knew that one should never use violence against children, no matter what the temptation. Yet here, faced with this infinitely irritating child, she felt an almost irresistible urge to do something physical.

She tried to collect her thoughts. ‘Olive,’ she said, ‘do you know the test that people used to see if somebody had leprosy? They would pinch them on the ear to see if they felt pain. The poor people with leprosy didn’t, you see. Look, I’ll show you.’

She leaned forward and took Olive’s right earlobe between her thumb and forefinger. ‘There,’ she said. ‘That’s what they did.’

She pinched extremely hard, and Olive gave a yelp of pain.

‘Good,’ said Miss Harmony. ‘So you haven’t got leprosy. That’s a relief, isn’t it?’

As Olive made her way back to her desk, Miss Harmony looked out of the window. She knew that the eyes of all the children were on her; they had heard Olive’s yelp; they had seen what had happened. Yes, thought Miss Harmony. I have just abandoned everything I was ever taught, but, oh my goodness, it was satisfying!

79. Julia’s Mother

Several days had passed since the evening on which Julia and Bruce had made their respective discoveries; or rather, since Julia had made her discovery and Bruce had discovered her discovery.

For Julia, it had been an exciting and positive moment; she wanted to secure Bruce, and she knew that this might be difficult without a certain amount of leverage. And what better leverage was there than the fact of a pregnancy? He might not like the idea at first, but, with a certain amount of help from her father, she thought that any slight objections that Bruce might have to marriage could be smoothed over. That was her strategy.

For Bruce, the finding of the instruction sheet for the home pregnancy test had been the cause of immediate panic. Fortunately, as he lay in the bath and reflected on what had happened, this panic subsided, and he began to work out the best approach to the problem. What he required was level-headedness; a careful appreciation of just where he stood and where the danger lay would be followed by a few cautious moves, and, with one bound, he would be free. Julia might think herself smart, but she was no match for Bruce, or so he thought. Indeed, as he reflected on it, he realised that he had never once been outsmarted by a woman. That’s not at all bad, he said to himself. In all