Theory of Constraints Handbook - James Cox Iii [550]
In order to get the officer’s attention—I must throw my file on the ground
When asked if there was any other way to get attention, he sheepishly shuffled his feet and murmured that he could have waited until the officer was free. Although the rest of the course still clashed with yard time, he became a model student.
In another memorable case, a younger inmate who was due for release the next day had his sentence extended for tattooing his forehead with a pencil. Upon returning to class, we questioned his need to tattoo his forehead, leading to his reply that he and his cellmates were so bored the night before that they did it for fun. The class collapsed in hysterics when he read out from the board, “In order to have fun, I must tattoo my head.” Was there no other way to have fun? Today as a free man, when he calls to chat, he reminds me of his hard lesson learned in his quest “to have fun.”
Learning to question oneself can lead to harsh realities, making transformative experiences painful to go through. Unless there is critical reflection time, there is no point in attempting to teach the additional process and language associated with the rest of the tool until fundamental principles are understood. Usually one-on-one intervention is required for chronic behavior modification; however, the safety perimeters established within this group were so tight that they were able to lower their tough faÇade and openly share and see the folly of their behavior from another pair of eyes. A common phrase heard in the classroom was an incredulous, “You did what? Why?”
By breaking down the Cloud process, it also allowed the audience the opportunity to analyze the “why” behind their actions minus the usual accompanying “why not” during the initial learning process. For most adults, our inherent sense of right and wrong is so strong that for most types of negative behavior, the “why not” is already well understood. For this audience in particular, well-meaning family, friends, teachers, and counselors had drilled them with “why not’s” since they were young. Like smokers, however, even though they understand the consequences of their actions, few could quit until they could find another way to meet their need.
These are but a small sample of the numerous simple yet transformational situations resulting from asking the basic question “why?” and identifying the core reason behind our individual actions. While it may be argued that these concepts are not unique to TOC, the use of the key TOC phrase “In order to . . . I must” was critical for success. The combination of the three (the need, the want, and the justification) provided a simple yet effective primer for the rest of the Cloud tool, which is essential to deal with interpersonal issues and more significant personal dilemmas that require a more thorough analysis of both sides of the conflict.
Win-Win Buy-in to the concept of win-win is essential to teaching the remaining Cloud tool process. The need for win-win, however, is not an easy concept to sell in the Asian context where it is not common to insist on one’s point of view, especially with respect to superiors, elders, or authority. Unlike individualistic societies that thrive on debate and the fundamental belief in the freedom of expression, traditional Asian culture does not encourage direct confrontation because being rebuffed could cause loss of face for either party.
Rather than striving to achieve a win-win situation, it is far more common and acceptable to adopt a strategy to avoid, give-in, comply, or compromise even if it means a win-lose and ultimately lose-lose situation for both sides at the end of the day. To overcome this, once again we needed to disprove their underlying logic before trying to introduce new concepts. To give a sense of fun to the exercise, we engaged in active role-play to demonstrate the outcome of each type of conflict resolution.
To encourage ownership of the solution, the class made a list of all of their