Things I've Learned From Women Who've Dumped Me - Ben Karlin [36]
I jumped down and began to circle the room, dodging bodies left and right. My heart was pounding. “How could I be such a stupid dork!” I said aloud. Then, I saw you. Perched perfectly on a stack of hay, hair held back with a bright red ribbon and your hands clasped in your lap. You looked like a tiny movie star doing a photo spread for Ralph Lauren’s Fall Riding Collection. And you were noticing me! I was momentarily stunned. My confidence dashed, I stumbled backwards and, slipping on some loose hay, I crashed to the floor. I quickly scrambled to my feet and was met by your warm smile. That was all the motivation I needed. I planted my two feet firm, lowered my gaze, and I noticed you with all my might. A direct hit. And you reciprocated with perfect poise.
I don’t remember actually moving my feet but suddenly we were face-to-face. It seemed too good to be true. Three and half days of yearning were behind us. The connection was palpable and effortless. We played the perfect game. You told me you were from Canada and I asked if you lived in an igloo. You shrieked with laughter. I preened with confidence. My joke about seal meat provoked you to reach out and touch my hand. Contact was made. We were on fire. And I knew at that moment there was a very good chance I would spend the rest of my life with you. It didn’t matter that we would have to prolong our engagement a few years so we could legally drink champagne at our wedding. I just figured we would have more time to plan the event. But as soon as our affair ignited, fate intervened again, this time in the form of a Dance Caller.
“Pick your partner and skip to the loo!” And with that the room began to spin. I looked around, rattled by the sudden commotion, and when I looked back you were gone. Swept away in a tide of teenage bodies. I had no choice but to jump into the crush. I had to find you.
The Dance Caller barked out instructions. The room responded. I kept catching glimpses of you through the arms and elbows of others campers. We dosy-doed closer and closer to each other, until we were in the same circle. You were still noticing me and I was noticing you right back. The dosy-ing. The doe-ing. The noticing. It was intoxicating. And then our hands met. A charge shot through my body and I could tell by the arch in your brow you felt it too. We started spinning, faster and faster, our tiny, sweaty hands clutching tight as if our lives depended on it.
The call came to switch partners but we refused. We just kept spinning as if we could make the room disappear through sheer velocity. The Caller directed his charge at us. “Hey, little campers, switch your partners and skip to the loo!” But I wanted nothing to do with “the loo.” Wide-eyed and breathless, we kept holding and spinning, staring deep into each other’s eyes. The other kids started to back away, sensing something divine was happening, something that transcended the realm of square dancing. A few counselors tried to intervene but we could not be slowed. They simply bounced off us. We were fused, anointed by the Holy Spirit.
The other kids started to chant. “Love Spin. Love Spin.” And our speed increased. Finally, one of the counselors climbed onto the stage and grabbed the microphone. He signaled the band to stop playing and when they did he said in a loud voice, “I want you two to separate right now!” But we were joined by God and let no man put us asunder. We increased our speed and now, without the band playing, you could hear the whir of our spin. It was a celestial sound. I imagined it was similar to the sound of angels at play.
“In the name of God, I compel you to let go!” he boomed over the microphone.
How dare he compel us in the name of God. Our Love Spin was clearly an act of God. It was a manifestation of all that is Holy. I shook my head in disbelief and rolled my eyes at the hypocrisy of it all. And that’s when I saw the flicker in your eyes. But it couldn’t be. It just didn’t seem possible. Then you blinked and I knew it was true. Doubt. I tried to lock eyes with you, to reassure