Thinner - Stephen King [51]
'But why? Why, Mr Halleck?'
'Because,' Billy said, 'although you think you can help me ah gentlemen, you can't.'
And looking at their unbelieving, uncomprehending faces, Billy thought he had never felt so lonely in his life.
On his way home he stopped at a smoke shop and bought a package of Chesterfield Kings. The first three puffs made him feel so dizzy and sick that he threw them away.
'So much for that experiment,' he said aloud in the car, laughing and crying at the same time. 'Back to the old drawing board, kids.'
Chapter Fourteen
156
Linda was gone.
Heidi, the normally tiny lines beside her eyes and the corners of her mouth now deep with strain (she was smoking like a steam engine, Billy saw - one Vantage 100 after another), told Halleck she had sent Linda to her Aunt Rhoda's in Westchester County.
'I did it for a couple of reasons,' Heidi said. 'The first is that that she needs a rest from you, Billy. From what's happening to you. She's half out of her mind. It's gotten so I can't convince her you don't have cancer.'
'She ought to talk to Cary Rossington,' Billy muttered as he went into the kitchen to turn on the coffee. He needed a cup badly - strong and black, no sugar. 'They sound like soulmates.'
'What? I can't hear you.'
'Never mind. Just let me turn on the coffee.'
'She's not sleeping,' Heidi said when he came back. She was twisting her hands together restlessly. 'Do you understand?'
'Yes,' Billy said, and he did but it felt as if there was a thorn lodged somewhere inside of him. He wondered if Heidi understood that he needed Linda too, if she really understood that his daughter was also part of his support system. But part of his support system or not, he had no right to erode Linda's confidence, her psychological equilibrium. Heidi was right about that. She was right about that no matter how much it cost.
He felt that bright hate surface in his heart again. Mommy had driven his daughter off to auntie's house as soon as Billy had called and said he was on his way. And how come? Why, because the bogey-daddy was coming home! Don't run screaming, dear, it's only the Thin Man
Why that day? Why did you have to pick that day?
'Billy? Are you all right?' Heidi's voice was oddly hesitant.
Jesus! You stupid bitch! Here you are married to the Incredible Shrinking Man, and all you can think to ask is if I'm all right?
'I'm as all right as I can be, I guess. Why?'
'Because you looked strange for a minute.'
Did I? Did I really? Why that day, Heidi? Why did you pick that day to reach into my pants after all the prim years of doing everything in the dark?
'Well, I suppose I feel a little strange almost all the time now,' Billy said, thinking: You've got to stop it, my friend. This is pointless. What's done is done.
But it was hard to stop it. Hard to stop it when she stood there smoking one cigarette after another but looking and seeming perfectly well, and
But you will stop it, Billy. So help me.
Heidi turned away and stubbed her cigarette out in a crystal ashtray.
'The second thing is you've been keeping something from me, Billy. Something to do with this. You talk in your sleep, sometimes. You've been out nights. Now, I want to know. I deserve to know.' She was beginning to cry.
'You want to know?' Halleck asked. 'You really want to know?' he felt a strange dry grin surface on his face.
'Yes! Yes!'
So Billy told her.
Houston called him the following day, and after a long and meaningless prologue, he got to the point. Heidi was with him. He and Heidi had had a long chat (did you offer her a toot for the human snoot? Halleck thought of asking, and decided that maybe he had better not). The upshot of their long chat was simply this: they thought Billy was just as crazy as a loon.
'Mike,' Billy said, 'the old Gypsy was real. He touched all three of us: me, Cary Rossington, Duncan Hopley. Now, a guy like you doesn't believe in the supernatural I accept that. But you sure as shit believe in deductive