Thirsty - M. T. Anderson [69]
I go down to the bottom of the stairs, past my father, to take the phone.
“Hey, Chris. Yo. Hey,” says Jerk.
“Hi, Jerk. How can I help you?”
“Man, how are you? I mean, what happened? I was really worried about you.”
I ask sharply, “Why, Jerk? Why were you worried?”
“We were all worried. Rebecca was really worried about you.”
I’m jumpy now. “Why? What did she say?”
“She said you, like, freaked out. She thought there was really something wrong with you.”
“Oh god, no. She didn’t.”
“I mean, not like wrong with you wacko funny farm, but wrong with you, like something bad had happened. She said you were hiding your mouth and talking really weird.”
“Oh, man. Oh. Damn!”
“What’s the problem? Are you okay?”
“Did she say anything else?”
“I mean, she talked about it with Tom. He kind of explained that he’d been worried about you for the last couple of months, concerned ’cause he said you’ve been acting kind of, you know. Like he always says, that you’ve been acting like you have some problem.”
“He said that to her? What did she say?”
“Then we heard that that girl you knew, you know, Lolli, the one from out of town, was a vampire. Did you hear? She, like, tried to kill Pete Gallagher. She was completely crazy. Man, it was horrible. He’s in the hospital. They say he’ll probably never play lacrosse again.”
“What about Rebecca?”
“I don’t know. She was really worried about you and stuff, especially after we heard about Lolli. And then Kristen started crying and Chuck put his arm around her, so Tom put his arm around Rebecca. They talked about how everything was so frightening, and how they were all really worried about you, and, you know, I left but I guess they all stayed out really late, sitting down by the reservoir, talking together about you and stuff. So I guess Tom and Rebecca are sort of, you know, like, going out now.”
“What?” I scream. “He’s doing this just to spite me! Isn’t he? He’s doing this just to spite me!”
“No,” stutters Jerk nervously. “No, no he’s not.”
“That’s why he’s going out with her! Just to goddamn show me I can’t! That bastard! Isn’t that the reason?” I am in a fury. I pound my fist against the wall. My mother opens the door to the living room.
“Why are you out of your room?” she jabbers anxiously, hanging back, as if ready to bolt. “Why are you out of your room? Get back to your room until I tell you to come out. Go on!” She gestures once, agitated, then ducks back into the living room.
Jerk waits for things to quiet down.
“Isn’t that the reason?” I hiss. “For Tom.”
He says, bewildered, “No. He’s doing it because she’s really nice. I talked to her for a while. She is. I mean, really nice. He’s going out with her because she’s really nice and interesting and stuff. She knows all this stuff about ancient spells and —”
“Thank you, Jerk,” I say. “I really value your opinion.”
“Look, Christopher —,” he whines.
“What, Jerk. What else do you have to tell me?”
“I, I just called because I was worried about you, man.”
“Worried? I’m really touched, Jerk. Your concern means so much to me. Like you understand what’s going on. Like you understand any goddamn thing in the world.”
“Hey!” he says. “I’m your friend. What are you —”
“Jerk, your only friend is your stupid dog. Your dog is so stupid. Why don’t you go talk to your dog? It’ll be sort of like your having a girlfriend, but the dog will have less chest hair.”
“You,” says Jerk. “You think I’m shit, don’t you? Don’t you? You just think I’m shit.”
I sneer, “You are what you eat —” And instantly, I realize what I’ve done. And I can’t believe it. “No, Jerk, I’m sorry. Please, Jerk, I’m sorry,” I plead to the dial tone. “Jerk, I’m so sorry.”
And now I am all alone.
I am up in my room.
I am grounded.
I am going to die soon.
The night has fallen, and the stars are out over the town. This is the town where I grew up. I grew up near the reservoir and used to play in the hills here. I don’t want the life of that person who played in the hills and walked by the reservoir dragging a Tinkertoy ray gun to end. I want that