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Thirty - Jill Emerson [0]

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Thirty

Lawrence Block

Writing as Jill Emerson

Contents

January 7

January 8

January 12

January 14

January 19

January 20

January 23

January 24

January 27

February 2

February 17

February 20

February 21

February 25

February 27

February 28

March 1

March 2

March 3

March 5

March 6

March 15

March 16

March 17

March 23

March 24

March 27

March 28

March 29

April 2

April 3

April 6

April 10

April 11

April 12

April 13

April 19

April 20

April 24

April 27

May 1

May 5

May 7

May 9

May 12

May 14

May 15

May 16

May 19

May 20

May 27

June 14

June 15

June 21

June 24

June 27

June 30

July 3

July 7

July 8

July 9

July 11

July 15

July 17

July 18

July 24

July 29

August 9

August 11

August 17

August 22

August 25

August 29

September 1

September 4

September 6

September 9

September 12

September 23

October 2

October 12

January 5

A New Afterword by the Author

A Biography of Lawrence Block

January 7


How confusing!

The trouble with a diary is that you have to decide who you are writing it to. (I mean to whom you are writing it. No, I don’t. I mean what I said. If this is going to work at all, I’d be well advised to write as I talk. Which is not a matter of dese and dem and dose, because I am after all a literate and wordsworthy person, acknowledged to be fairly bright for a lady. But there is no point, in these pages, being a nut about grammatical perfection. Or sitting around hung up over the spelling of a word.)

Interesting, though, that the Personal Diary of Jan Giddings Kurland should begin How confusing. Interesting. Curiouser and Curiouser . . .

My lawyers. Curiouser and Curiouser, Attorneys-at-Law.

Confusing because I’ve been spending the morning and much of the afternoon pacing around trying to figure out how to start this. What tone to take. Whether to begin each entry “Dear Diary” as girls do in books—and thus probably in real life as well, life imitating bad art as it does. Or whether to write each day’s entry as if to Howie, if for no better reason than that the sneak will probably read this sooner or later anyway, and that if each entry began “Dear Howie” he could do so with a somewhat clearer conscience, assuming, that is, that conscience is still a valid concept while discussing Howie, that his has not atrophied from lack of use, like a nun’s cunt.

Howie is Howard Kurland, my husband. I am Janet Kurland, the former Janet Giddings. Howie is thirty-two. He is tall, he has brown hair, his eyes are also brown, he—

No, impossible. I cannot get hung up on things like that or this book will never get anywhere.

It’s probably too late anyway. The year is already a week old. The night before last was Twelfth Night. We put the Christmas tree out for the garbage. As it was, we had waited a little too long, but I’m a traditionalist. Every year when Twelfth Night comes we take out the mangy old Christmas tree, and I open my birthday presents! Christmas is officially over and I’m officially a year older.

When I was a girl (I don’t like that sentence, I mean phrase, I don’t like that phrase, not at all, the ring of it, the echo of an old woman’s voice speaking those words, I am still a girl, I want still to be a girl, twenty-nine is not that old, twenty-nine too old, twenty-nine years, my thirtieth year, God!). When I was younger (cheat!) it balanced off, Twelfth Night and birthday, because the end of Christmas was sorrowful, in a way, but the happiness of a birthday made up for it. Well, it still balances, but the other way around. I was glad to get that broken-down tree out of the house, glad to see Christmas over for a year, no more decorations all over the neighborhood, no more of the forced hilarity of the holiday season.

Being twenty-nine, having embarked on one’s thirtieth year, on the other hand, was the greatest drag imaginable.

So. I don’t keep diaries. I’m not good at it, I start off all ambitious (like everything else) and by the end of January I don’t want to be bothered with the job of recording each day’s trivia, and sometime in mid-February

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