This Loving Land - Dorothy Garlock [106]
He walked into the room and sat down in the chair beside the bed. When he next looked at Slater, he was looking back at him, the arm having moved up to rest on his forehead. The first thing that struck the boy was how awful Slater looked. He had just been shaved and had small nick-cuts on his chin. His cheeks were sunk in so that the scar stood out in bold relief on his face. Suddenly, John Austin was scared, and almost wished he hadn’t come. Slater looked scary! Looked like he didn’t want to be bothered about anything.
“What do you want?”
Slater acted as if he was mad at him. A part of his mind searched for a reason, the other part was determined to get help for Summer.
“Are you feelin’ better?”
“No. I feel like hell. What did you expect?”
“I wish you felt better.”
“Well, I don’t. Now, what do you want? If it’s another book, go get it.”
The cold tone hurt a little, but a determined look settled on the boy’s face.
“I come to talk about Summer. You like her, don’t you? You said you did.”
Slater covered his eyes with his forearm again. He lay still for so long John Austin wasn’t sure he was going to say anything. Finally, he said harshly:
“What about her? She went off with Jesse to bury Ellen, didn’t she? She thought that was more important than staying here with me.”
He sounded bitter and hurt-like. John Austin had heard that tone before, but not from a man.
“I don’t think it’s that,” he said, then rushed on. “I don’t think she even liked Mrs. McLean or she wouldn’t of yelled ‘shut up, shut up’ at her.”
Slater lay still for a moment, then removed his arm slowly. His eyes roamed the boy’s worried face.
“When did she say that?”
“The day she come to tell us you were goin’ to be all right. She had on a big smile then, but she didn’t smile no more after she talked to Mrs. McLean. She cried and held onto Sadie, and Sadie made me take Mary up to the loft. Mrs. McLean just walked up and down on the porch. That was before Travis come to shoot her.” He waited to see what effect his words were having, to see if he was telling Slater something he didn’t know.
“Go on, go on,” Slater urged.
“Well, I’ve been thinkin’ that if Summer was just goin’ for the buryin’, why did she take her trunk and why did she say she would write me a letter? That morning, she almost cried when she come to my bed to say she was goin’. I know how Summer looks when she laughs ’cause she wants to cry. She did it lots of times when Mama was sick.”
Slater lay silently for a long while. John Austin knew he was thinking, because he did that himself sometimes.
“What does Sadie say?” Slater didn’t act like he was mad anymore.
“She don’t say nothin’ about it a’tall. I tried to ask her, but she said if I loved my sister, I’d best hush up and read my books like she told me. Sadie acts flighty and scared like she did that time Travis come. I knew she was scared of him ’cause her eyes got so big and she wouldn’t look at him. She never smiled or laughed and played with me and Mary after that, and I don’t know why she was scared of him. I liked him.”
Slater’s quiet eyes studied the boy’s face until John Austin began to squirm and finally his lips began to quiver and he blurted out:
“I miss Summer! I want her to come back! I think she’s got . . . trouble!” He looked away from Slater and blinked to hold back the tears, but the dam broke when Slater reached out a bandaged hand. He fell on his knees beside the bed, hiding his face in the folds of the sheet. His shoulders shook with the force of his sobs.
Slater placed an arm across the boy’s shoulders and let him cry.
When John Austin raised his tear-streaked face, it was defiant. He was ready to defend his right to cry.
“Summer said it was all right for a man to cry. Summer said boys and men have feelings, too. She said. . . .”
“It’s all right, John. Don’t apologize. Summer’s right. Men do have feelings.”
“And you’ll get her back?”
“First, we’ve got to find out why she left. Go and get Sadie. Tell her I