This Loving Land - Dorothy Garlock [90]
Her body convulsed as she began to sob hysterically. It couldn’t be true! It was a mistake! It couldn’t be true—but it was! Her mother’s words, her mother’s continual talk of Sam McLean. Her mother saying that all McLeans named their children names that started with the letter S. I gave you the name Summer, she had said, because it reminded me of something beautiful. Her heart ached with a physical pain almost too hard to bear. She continued to tremble violently, both inside and out. Please, please, her inner voice cried, let this be a nightmare. Let me wake up and everything will be all right. But she knew that everything would not be all right, that this was no nightmare, and she cried all the harder.
Thoughts crowded into her mind. The hands that had caressed her so intimately were those of her . . . brother! The lips that kissed her so passionately and had carried her to the brink of rapture and beyond were those of her . . . brother! The child . . . oh, God, the child was her brother’s child! Dear, merciful God, she prayed, please let me die! Don’t make me live to face this . . . hell!
She cried bitterly. Cried until her mind was drugged with grief and remorse. Covering her face with her hands, she shrank deeply into the pit of her misery, accepting the most crushing blow she had ever known.
Ellen would not allow her to escape into unconsciousness. She shook her shoulder. Gently at first, then harder.
“Summer, you must get hold of yourself, make plans. You’ll make yourself ill carrying on like this. Summer, listen to me. Have you been to bed with Slater? Have you?” Ellen shook her shoulder again. “Answer me.” When Summer didn’t answer, she said with finality, “You have. This is much worse than I thought. Do you know what that means, Summer? It means that you have committed incest! You and Slater . . . Good heavens, if the men should find this out! And, heaven forbid, if you are pregnant! They would hang Slater, sure as the world, Summer. Texas men can get pretty riled up over something like that. They wouldn’t stop to think that maybe Slater didn’t know you were his sister. Do you want to see Slater hanged?”
Summer rolled over and sat up. Ellen’s words had reached into the deep recesses of her dulled mind. She couldn’t let any harm come to Slater. He had not known, any more than she had, that he . . . that she . . . She couldn’t bring herself even to think the words. Ellen was right. She must leave before anyone suspected. She and John Austin would go back to the Piney Woods. Almost as soon as the thought came to mind, she rejected it. No! She had to go someplace where Slater couldn’t find her. Some place where he wouldn’t even think of looking.
“I’ve given this thought while you were coming to grips with the truth, Summer. I’ll help you get away from here. It’s essential that you go. You understand, don’t you, dear?” She peered into the tear-swollen eyes. “There’s a Mormon settlement about eight miles out from Hamilton. I know the leader quite well. He is a good man. I have bought a lot of furniture from them, and he owes me a favor. If I ask, he will take you with them when they leave to join a larger colony in Utah. For all their goodness, they are mercenary. You will need money.” She reached into her valise and pulled out a bag.
“No,” Summer said hoarsely. “No. . . .”
“Yes. Take it.” Ellen put the bag in her hands and closed her fingers over it. “You can repay me if it will make you feel better about taking it. I’m doing this for you, Summer, for your mother . . . and for Slater. The Mormons will take you to Utah and Slater will never know, will never have to suffer the disgrace of knowing that he impregnated his own sister.”
Summer let the bag of money fall to the floor. Ellen reached for it and the letter. The bag