This Side of Paradise [55]
them.
"Any person with any imagination is bound to be afraid," said Burne earnestly. And this very walking at night is one of the things I was afraid about. I'm going to tell you why I can walk anywhere now and not be afraid."
"Go on," Amory urged eagerly. They were striding toward the woods, Burne's nervous, enthusiastic voice warming to his subject.
"I used to come out here alone at night, oh, three months ago, and I always stopped at that cross-road we just passed. There were the woods looming up ahead, just as they do now, there were dogs howling and the shadows and no human sound. Of course, I peopled the woods with everything ghastly, just like you do; don't you?"
"I do," Amory admitted.
"Well, I began analyzing itmy imagination persisted in sticking horrors into the darkso I stuck my imagination into the dark instead, and let it look out at meI let it play stray dog or escaped convict or ghost, and then saw myself coming along the road. That made it all rightas it always makes everything all right to project yourself completely into another's place. I knew that if I were the dog or the convict or the ghost I wouldn't be a menace to Burne Holiday any more than he was a menace to me. Then I thought of my watch. I'd better go back and leave it and then essay the woods. No; I decided, it's better on the whole that I should lose a watch than that I should turn backand I did go into themnot only followed the road through them, but walked into them until I wasn't frightened any moredid it until one night I sat down and dozed off in there; then I knew I was through being afraid of the dark."
"Lordy," Amory breathed. "I couldn't have done that. I'd have come out half-way, and the first time an automobile passed and made the dark thicker when its lamps disappeared, I'd have come in."
"Well," Burne said suddenly, after a few moments' silence, "we're half-way through, let's turn back."
On the return he launched into a discussion of will.
"It's the whole thing," he asserted. "It's the one dividing line between good and evil. I've never met a man who led a rotten life and didn't have a weak will."
"How about great criminals?"
"They're usually insane. If not, they're weak. There is no such thing as a strong, sane criminal."
"Burne, I disagree with you altogether; how about the superman?" "Well?"
"He's evil, I think, yet he's strong and sane."
"I've never met him. I'll bet, though, that he's stupid or insane."
"I've met him over and over and he's neither. That's why I think you're wrong."
"I'm sure I'm notand so I don't believe in imprisonment except for the insane."
On this point Amory could not agree. It seemed to him that life and history were rife with the strong criminal, keen, but often self-deluding; in politics and business one found him and among the old statesmen and kings and generals; but Burne never agreed and their courses began to split on that point.
Burne was drawing farther and farther away from the world about him. He resigned the vice-presidency of the senior class and took to reading and walking as almost his only pursuits. He voluntarily attended graduate lectures in philosophy and biology, and sat in all of them with a rather pathetically intent look in his eyes, as if waiting for something the lecturer would never quite come to. Sometimes Amory would see him squirm in his seat; and his face would light up; he was on fire to debate a point. He grew more abstracted on the street and was even accused of becoming a snob, but Amory knew it was nothing of the sort, and once when Burne passed him four feet off, absolutely unseeingly, his mind a thousand miles away, Amory almost choked with the romantic joy of watching him. Burne seemed to be climbing heights where others would be forever unable to get a foothold. "I tell you," Amory declared to Tom, "he's the first contemporary I've ever met whom I'll admit is my superior in mental capacity."
"It's a bad time to admit itpeople are beginning to think he's odd."
"He's way over their headsyou know you think
"Any person with any imagination is bound to be afraid," said Burne earnestly. And this very walking at night is one of the things I was afraid about. I'm going to tell you why I can walk anywhere now and not be afraid."
"Go on," Amory urged eagerly. They were striding toward the woods, Burne's nervous, enthusiastic voice warming to his subject.
"I used to come out here alone at night, oh, three months ago, and I always stopped at that cross-road we just passed. There were the woods looming up ahead, just as they do now, there were dogs howling and the shadows and no human sound. Of course, I peopled the woods with everything ghastly, just like you do; don't you?"
"I do," Amory admitted.
"Well, I began analyzing itmy imagination persisted in sticking horrors into the darkso I stuck my imagination into the dark instead, and let it look out at meI let it play stray dog or escaped convict or ghost, and then saw myself coming along the road. That made it all rightas it always makes everything all right to project yourself completely into another's place. I knew that if I were the dog or the convict or the ghost I wouldn't be a menace to Burne Holiday any more than he was a menace to me. Then I thought of my watch. I'd better go back and leave it and then essay the woods. No; I decided, it's better on the whole that I should lose a watch than that I should turn backand I did go into themnot only followed the road through them, but walked into them until I wasn't frightened any moredid it until one night I sat down and dozed off in there; then I knew I was through being afraid of the dark."
"Lordy," Amory breathed. "I couldn't have done that. I'd have come out half-way, and the first time an automobile passed and made the dark thicker when its lamps disappeared, I'd have come in."
"Well," Burne said suddenly, after a few moments' silence, "we're half-way through, let's turn back."
On the return he launched into a discussion of will.
"It's the whole thing," he asserted. "It's the one dividing line between good and evil. I've never met a man who led a rotten life and didn't have a weak will."
"How about great criminals?"
"They're usually insane. If not, they're weak. There is no such thing as a strong, sane criminal."
"Burne, I disagree with you altogether; how about the superman?" "Well?"
"He's evil, I think, yet he's strong and sane."
"I've never met him. I'll bet, though, that he's stupid or insane."
"I've met him over and over and he's neither. That's why I think you're wrong."
"I'm sure I'm notand so I don't believe in imprisonment except for the insane."
On this point Amory could not agree. It seemed to him that life and history were rife with the strong criminal, keen, but often self-deluding; in politics and business one found him and among the old statesmen and kings and generals; but Burne never agreed and their courses began to split on that point.
Burne was drawing farther and farther away from the world about him. He resigned the vice-presidency of the senior class and took to reading and walking as almost his only pursuits. He voluntarily attended graduate lectures in philosophy and biology, and sat in all of them with a rather pathetically intent look in his eyes, as if waiting for something the lecturer would never quite come to. Sometimes Amory would see him squirm in his seat; and his face would light up; he was on fire to debate a point. He grew more abstracted on the street and was even accused of becoming a snob, but Amory knew it was nothing of the sort, and once when Burne passed him four feet off, absolutely unseeingly, his mind a thousand miles away, Amory almost choked with the romantic joy of watching him. Burne seemed to be climbing heights where others would be forever unable to get a foothold. "I tell you," Amory declared to Tom, "he's the first contemporary I've ever met whom I'll admit is my superior in mental capacity."
"It's a bad time to admit itpeople are beginning to think he's odd."
"He's way over their headsyou know you think