Those Guys Have All the Fun - James Andrew Miller [113]
Once I arrived, I realized I had no concept of what a wasteland Bristol was, especially back in 1990. It’s unimaginable, especially because I was single and I was coming from Atlanta, which might be the greatest city on earth to be single in because it’s a 4:00 a.m. town, and we were pretty heavy partiers in the CNN days. So the social life in Bristol was almost impossible.
Dan [Patrick] and I used to have fart wars upstairs. We’d type in our little cubicles, then go down to the newsroom and battle. I actually did it to him once on the set, but normally I didn’t engage him because he was deadly. I was more about sound; he was more about fury.
There was a Double-A minor-league team around there, the New Britain Cats, and we would see them and yell at opposing players and coaches and stuff, then we’d end up meeting with them because they were staying at the Ramada, which is the only hotel in New Britain. One night we were sitting there drinking with them after the game, and somebody on the other side was having a bridal party, and Dan and I decided to moon them as they were opening gifts. They basically looked up, then just went back to opening their presents. So then we were sitting with this coach—and I swear to God this happened—and the guy was a tobacco chewer. The coach for the Harrisburg Expos, or whatever the Harrisburg team was called. And he had a spit cup about a quarter full and he started betting Dan that he wouldn’t drink it. But sure enough, Dan sat there and drank it all. I think Tirico was there that night; he had just come to ESPN and that was one of the first things he saw. It was like, “Oh, you want to hang with the big boys? Better be ready.”
But my favorite Dan story from back then was from while I was interviewing, and I was following him back to his house in my rental car. We’re taking the I-84 freeway back to West Hartford, where he lived, and Dan’s going sixty miles an hour, then slows down just a bit. I’m thinking, “I’m following you; what are you doing?” and I pull up beside him, and while he’s cruising down Interstate 84, he moons me right through the driver’s-side window.
PETER GAMMONS:
One of my most enjoyable moments ever was before the ’91 All-Star Game, which was going to be played in San Diego. I went down to Florida, to Ted Williams’s house, to do a big interview, which we wound up using in about eight to ten different pieces. When I was six, my parents gave me a little plastic statue of Ted Williams, and I still have it to this day. Ted was so great. He had everything set up. He had even brought out a picture of himself with Babe Ruth so it was right behind me when he was sitting and facing the camera.
After about an hour and twenty minutes, he brought me, the producer, two camera men, and two soundmen into the kitchen, where he had fixed all these trays of crackers and cheese, hors d’oeuvres, and iced tea. Ted Williams was actually setting up snacks for us because he was afraid we would be tired, hungry, and thirsty after listening to him for an hour and twenty minutes. That was amazing.
CHRIS MORTENSEN, Pro Football Analyst:
I actually had a mustache for about twenty years before I joined ESPN in ’91. It was part of my identity. And the night before my first NFL Countdown show, Steve Anderson called and asked, “What would you think of shaving off your mustache? I looked at the tape, and I think it makes you look a little meaner.” So being a team guy, I thought, “What the heck?” As soon as I shaved it off, I looked in the mirror and said,