Thyla - Kate Gordon [15]
And in there was Cat. I wondered if she had sat at this same table, having similar conversations. I wondered how many of the girls here knew her. I wondered if I should ask them, or if they might be sensitive about her disappearance. I imagined her, cold and alone, in the wilderness.
I never imagined her dead, though I knew it was logically possible. Perhaps it was only hope for you, Connolly. Perhaps I just wanted Cat to be alive but … I don’t know how to describe it. It was almost intuition. I sensed that she was out there. Odd and mad and witching as it may seem, I somehow knew. And I also knew it was up to me to find her. It was like the dreams I had been having since I awoke – the ones that seemed so real and yet so implausible; it was as though my subconscious knew things my consciousness did not. I could not explain it, but I could not argue with it either. The feeling was so strong. Cat was alive.
‘Tessa?’ A sharp voice punctured my contemplation. My eyes snapped towards Inga, whose own eyes were boring into me. ‘I asked you a question,’ she said.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘I think I am quite tired. What was your question?’
Inga rolled her eyes. ‘I just wanted to know if you have a boyfriend?’
‘A boyfriend?’ I asked. The term was unfamiliar to me. Was Inga asking if I had any male companions? Was she implying I had been improper?
‘Yes, you know,’ she said slowly, as though I was dimwitted. ‘A boyfriend?’
‘You don’t have to answer that, Tessa,’ said Claudia, gently. She turned to Inga. ‘That’s private,’ she said.
‘Aww, but I thought we were friends,’ Inga said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. I really did not like Inga. ‘All right,’ she said. ‘I’ll share first. I have a boyfriend. His name is Jakob. He’s completely hot and he kisses like a demon.’
Ah, so Inga was not simply talking about male companions. She was talking about … gentlemen callers. About suitors.
‘I … I don’t really know if I have a boyfriend,’ I replied, truthfully. I had not remembered a boyfriend. I could not remember any boys. But, like my feeling about Cat, I had a sense that perhaps there had been someone. Dancing around my brain was a hint of a musky smell; the feeling of lips brushing against mine. Maybe this was just a dream, though. After all, I had seen myself in the mirror after I was rescued. What boy would have wanted me?
‘Right,’ said Inga, her eyes narrowing. ‘Weird.’
I felt my cheeks colour. It was weird to not know if you had a suitor. I chastised myself and vowed to be more mindful in my future conversations.
‘It’s not weird,’ said Claudia, soothingly. ‘There have been heaps of times in my life when I haven’t really known if a boy was my boyfriend. They can be pigs sometimes, can’t they, Tessa?’
I nodded, yawning as I did so and Amy snapped, ‘Sorry for keeping you up, Tessa.’ She flicked her streaky blonde hair over her shoulder and looked at Inga, who rolled her eyes.
‘She’s had a big day,’ Claudia said, touching me gently on the arm.
It was true. I’d had a big day. I was tired. But, later, when I was lying on my side on my new bed, in my new room, in my new school, sleep seemed a million miles away.
My new roommate was not in her bed. She was away on a bushwalking trip. Ms Hindmarsh had told me this when she showed me to my room, earlier in the evening, but still, I was disappointed. I wanted to meet her.
Ms Hindmarsh told me that her name was Rhiannah. This cheered me. I assumed (and secretly hoped), that there was only one Rhiannah, the one Charlotte had introduced me to, the one with the black hair and the pretty bangle. I remembered Charlotte calling her strange, but Rhiannah seemed nice to me. I thought she would make a pleasant roommate.
‘Rhiannah is a bit of a nature nut,’ Ms Hindmarsh had explained. ‘Loves the bush.’
‘Me too,’ I said, again without thinking, and the next words to come into my mind were, How do you know that, Tessa?
Ms Hindmarsh didn’t ask how I knew that, though. She just squeezed my shoulder and said, ‘Great! Well, you’ll have lots to talk about, won’t you?