Time of My Life_ A Novel - Allison Winn Scotch [52]
“That’s about it.” I laugh. “That’s the exciting version of me, all wrapped up in a ten-second summary.” And it’s true, I realize. The me of my past isn’t all that different from the me of my future: patterned, boring lives that, if necessary, can be wrapped up with a tidy bow, tucked under the bed, and forgotten about entirely unless someone mistakenly stumbles on them while cleaning for dust.
He holds my gaze, then says much more seriously. “There’s no way that this is all you’ve got.”
“It feels like it is,” I say with a shrug, then remember where I’d landed at the end of my run. Before I can even think to retreat, I say, “Well, then there’s the fact that my mother abandoned me when I was nine, and now she wants to reconcile.”
My eyes widen in surprise at the statement, and I immediately wish that I could reel it back in. Who are you, the crazy girl who overreveals on the first date? The girl who guys share horror stories about because she can’t shut up! I scream internally. But this isn’t a date! I remind myself, then grow irritated that I’d even consider the notion. I swig my tea to compensate and hope that he doesn’t notice. A tiny dribble leaks out the left corner of my mouth, and I mat it with the back of my hand.
Rather than recoil at my far-too-intimate disclosure, or act repulsed by my less-than-meticulous table manners, however, Henry furrows his eyebrows and looks at me with sympathy.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “That must be scary.”
I want to leap across the plush burgundy sofa and clutch him, hug him so closely that I can feel his whiskered cheek against mine.
Because through all of this, no one, not Jack, not Megan, not my father, not even me, has tapped into what is truly the most excruciating part of this entire ordeal: that my mother’s reentry into my life isn’t just nerve-racking or emotionally uprooting, it’s horrifically terrifying in a way that I’ve never tasted before. That discovering the true reason that she left us might be worse than never knowing, and now that I have the chance to uncover these truths, the fear is nearly paralyzing.
And so suddenly, I spill out the story of my mother, of my history, of how she left us on a cool fall morning, and how she came back in the same manner, and how I feel as if I’m the infantry who was hit by mortal shells with no warning. The words rush out of me, tumbling on themselves, and when I’m done, I feel purged. And while I’m sure that Henry made me feel this way more times than I can count back before we grew stale, I sit on the couch in Starbucks and try to remember when anyone, either in this life or my other one, made me feel so reborn.
Finally, as if on cue, the thunder stops and the rain tapers to a dull trickle, and my senses jolt, reminding me that Henry is a slippery slope and one that I’ve already tumbled down before.
“I should go,” I say and stand abruptly.
“Oh, okay.” His face floods with disappointment. “Well . . .” He lingers. “I would like to hear how this ends. With your mom, I mean.”
“I have a boyfriend, Henry.” Yes! You! Do!
“I know,” he says without a trace of regret, without missing a beat. “It’s just that it’s not often I find someone I can talk to. And with you, it’s like . . . something that I can’t explain.” There isn’t even a hint of embarrassment as he says it.
I nod because I feel it, too.
“Friends,” I say, and extend my hand to shake his. “How about if we settle on friends.”
“Friends,” he echoes. He grasps my palm, and I hope he doesn’t notice me flinch as a tug of electric familiarity courses
through me. I turn to leave and push open the dripping glass door. “So I’ll see you around,” he calls after me. “Well, you’ve been following me pretty well these days.” “Then there’s no doubt I’ll catch you soon.” He smiles. “Catch me if you can,” I answer before I realize that I probably
shouldn’t put myself out as Henry’s bait.
KATIE
Henry was promoted to “youngest partner ever at the firm” when I was seven months pregnant. Thirty-one weeks, to be exact. I remember because I had my first internal exam earlier that day. He