To Lie with Lions - Dorothy Dunnett [240]
‘I do think of her,’ he said. He spoke to himself.
After a while she said, ‘I have said too much. Will you forgive me?’
‘I expect so,’ he said.
She was standing. She said, ‘And if I need your help, may I come to you?’
It brought him to his feet. He said, ‘Kathi, of course. I am sorry. It was like Hekla and Katla at once.’
‘Someone had to say it,’ she said. ‘Before you go, I have something to show you. Did you know that Jordan was riding at Dean?’
It was hard to concentrate. He said, ‘Yes. I thought of buying him … Kathi?’
‘I guessed you might. I have a pony,’ she said. ‘In the stables. If you like him, I’ll sell him to you. He seemed just right for Jordan. But from you, not from me.’
He said, ‘Jordan won’t bring us together. He is the barrier.’
‘No. You are wrong,’ she said. ‘You are wrong. When she is free to love you, she will love Jordan.’
Later, he rode into Antwerp with Diniz, the pony trotting beside them; and took the child out, and visited the warehouses, and had supper with Gelis and Diniz. Afterwards, he broke the news to her that he could stay for only a day, and then must leave for a visit to Arras. He tried to speak as he normally did, and thought he succeeded. He had attempted to set aside all that had been said that morning, for otherwise he could not continue with what had to be done. He would have to think of it some time. He supposed he would have to think of it some time. But he didn’t see how he could expunge the plan of four years on a whim. He didn’t see, as of now, how he could bring himself to discard it for any reason, for he was afraid he would discard himself with it.
He did not tax her then with her other visitors, although he knew she had had them; and further knew who they were.
Chapter 32
MISTRESS CLÉMENCE SAW the visitors, but it was not her place to remark on them; nor on the arrival of the extremely valuable pony, of which on the whole she approved.
Pasque had no such inhibitions. ‘At last, he treats the boy as he should! Remind him what a baron’s son is due! There are those – you know them – who would have silver harness by now. A miniature helmet.’
‘A page?’ suggested Mistress Clémence. ‘And therefore no further need of his nurses? Pasque, the bath has to be emptied.’ There was no point in explaining. This was a father who did not give bribes. The pony, therefore, represented something else: an apology for a long absence past, and another to come. Perhaps a very long absence.
The day of his arrival from Bruges, there had been something about their employer’s appearance which she did not like, taken in conjunction with Lord Beltrees’s apparent inability to avoid life-endangering activity. He had displayed a little too much attention to Jordan, shaking Jordan’s sense of security. His wife had not noticed, which was rare for her. Mistress Clémence sometimes wished, watching the Lady watching her husband, or keeping vigil during his absence, that Gelis van Borselen would have some care for his health. Some gentlemen, unevenly matured, went all their lives in need of a little nursery discipline.
Nicholas took John le Grant with him to Arras, but left Moriz and Robin at Bruges. If there was to be war, there was a lot of planning to do.
And there was to be war. The first sight of the tumult in Artois confirmed it. At Arras, only forty miles north of Amiens and thirty-four east of Hesdin, the Duke received him at St Vaast in a room jostling with captains and messengers, and crashed his fist on the table.
‘What is this man doing here?’ His long, full face, glaring at Nicholas, was crimson. ‘You took my gold, and turned Scottish whore for a barony! You said they would never raise an army against us, and they are sending six thousand soldiers to France!’
‘My lord,