To Love Again - Bertrice Small [36]
“You just want to go so you can share a bed space with him,” Cailin teased her cousin. “You are sure to have a big belly by the time you two are wed on Beltane next.” Beltane was a traditional time for weddings among the Celtic tribes.
“If I have a big belly when we are finally married, no one would be more pleased than Bodvoc and his family. It would show them I am a fertile field, and that Bodvoc’s seed is strong. There is no shame in it among our peoples, Cailin. Is it not the same for the Britons, then? Your blood is so intermingled that I thought you would follow many of the same customs as do the Dobunni.”
“We follow many customs belonging to the Celtic peoples, Nuala,” Cailin said, “But among the Romans, a maiden goes to her marriage bed a virgin. That custom seems to have continued among the Britons.”
“What a pity,” Nuala remarked. “How can you please your husband if you know nothing of what is involved in lovemaking?” Then her blue eyes grew wide with sudden awareness. “You have never been with a man, Cailin, have you?” she said in shocked tones. “Not even Corio? Ohh, when I return from visiting Bodvoc, I shall have to remedy this gap in your education, dear cousin. It is all very well to be able to read, but a woman must know far more than that to please a man in bed.”
“I don’t think I want a man in my bed just yet,” Cailin ventured.
“You are going to be sixteen in the spring, cousin,” Nuala said. “I will teach you everything you need to know, and then we will find a nice man for you to practice on. Bodvoc would be perfect!”
“But you are to marry Bodvoc!” Cailin squeaked nervously.
“I’m not jealous. After all, you don’t love him. He’s a marvelous lover, Cailin. Just perfect for a first experience! I’m certain he would be happy to oblige us in this matter.”
“I do not know if I can do such a thing, Nuala. I have not grown up as freely as you have. These are not my ways,” Cailin said.
“We do not hold that lovemaking between two consenting parties is wrong, Cailin,” Nuala explained. “There is nothing evil about giving and receiving pleasure. Your mother was certainly no virgin when she wed your father.” She patted her obviously distressed relative. “We will speak on this when I return from my visit to Carvilius’s village.”
Cailin’s mother had never told her these things. Brenna had never told her these things. While many girls her age and younger had spoken of the mysterious ways of love, Cailin had never been particularly curious about it. There had been no man who attracted her enough to rouse her interest. While she had grown in height and breadth, and her chest had sprouted round little breasts two years ago, she had never considered life as a grown woman one day. Now it appeared that she must.
Ceara and Maeve were hardly subtle in their quest for a husband for her. Their reasoning was sound. She needed a protector. Berikos barely tolerated her, and given the chance, would have been rid of her by now. She no longer had any family. Oh, Ceara and Maeve looked after her, but what would happen to her when they were not here?
“Stay away from your grandfather while we are gone,” Ceara warned Cailin in the morning of her departure. “Brigit has yet to attempt any revenge against you, but she will try, particularly if there is no one here to defend you. Are you sure you do not want to come with us, my child? You would be most welcome.”
Cailin shook her head. “You are good to ask me, but I need to be alone with myself, and my thoughts. There has been no time for that since I came here. I will keep from Berikos’s sight, I promise you, Ceara. I do not want him to disown me as he did my mother. At least she had my father to go to, but I have no one.”
“Be certain the slaves have his meals prepared on time, and that they are hot. You will have no trouble with him then. His stomach, and his manroot, are the center of his life these days. You take care of the stomach, and Brigit will