To Love Again - Bertrice Small [64]
“I can almost feel sorry for him,” Cailin said, “but then I remember that he disowned my mother, and that he was so unkind to my grandmother when we came to him for aid. I cannot forget that he forced me to Wulf’s bed when he knew I was a virgin and unused to such behavior.”
“But you are happy with Wulf, are you not?” Ceara asked her.
“Yes, but what if Wulf had not been the kind of man he is?”
Ceara nodded. “Yes, you have a just grievance, but try to forgive him, Cailin. He is a foolish, stubborn old man. He cannot change, but you, my child, can. He did love your mother, and I suspect he loves you as well, for you are Kyna’s daughter, though he is too proud to say it.”
“He sees too much of Brenna in me,” Cailin said softly, “and he will never forgive me for it. He does not see my mother when he looks at me. He hears Brenna speaking out of my mouth.” She smiled. “I will try, though, for your sake, Ceara. You have been good to me.”
Nuala and Bodvoc were wed during the festive celebration of Beltane. The bride’s belly had already grown quite round, and while Bodvoc was congratulated, Nuala was roundly teased, but she did not mind.
“Perhaps we shall leave here, and settle near you and Wulf,” Nuala said to her cousin.
“Leave the Dobunni?” Cailin was surprised by Nuala’s words. Celtic life was a communal life of kin and good friends. She was startled to think that Nuala and Bodvoc would give all that up.
“Why not?” Nuala replied. “Times are changing for us all. Life is too constricted here for Bodvoc and for me. There is no opportunity to do anything except what has always been done. We love our families, but we think perhaps we should like to be a little bit away from them. You and Wulf have no one but each other. If we came and lived by you, you would have us, and we would be near enough to the Dobunni villages to have the rest of our family available when we wanted to visit, or if they needed us, or we them. There is more than enough land for us, isn’t there?”
Cailin nodded. “When Anthony Porcius returned my father’s lands to me, he included the river villa that had been given to Quintus Drusus when he came from Rome. You and Bodvoc could have that land. Wulf and I will give it to you as a wedding present! You will have to build your own hall, but the lands are fertile, well-watered, and there is a fine orchard, Nuala. It would be good to have you near.”
“Our children will grow up together,” Nuala said with a smile.
Cailin found her husband and told him what she had done.
“Good!” he said with a smile. “Bodvoc will be a good man to have as a neighbor. We’ll help him to build his home so that by the time their child comes, they will have a place of their own.”
With the sunset, the Beltane fires sprang to life, and the feasting, drinking, and dancing continued. During the day, Cailin had been absorbed with her relatives and the wedding, but now a deep sadness came upon her. Just a year ago her family had been murdered. She wandered among the revelers, and then suddenly found herself by Berikos. Well, she thought, now is as good a time as any to try to make peace with this old reprobate. He was seated on a bench with a back. She sat down upon the ground by his side.
“Once,” she began, “my mother told me of how, when she was a little girl, no one could leap higher across the Beltane fires than you could, Berikos. I think it was the only time I ever heard her speak of you. I believe she missed you, especially at this time of year. I am not like her, am I? Well, I cannot be anyone but who I am.”
Surprised, she felt