Toad Away - Morris Gleitzman [10]
“We've got to go,” he hissed at Charm and Goliath.
“Lovely place, the Amazon, by all accounts,” said the bird. “You know those ads for New Zealand on TV? From what I've heard, the Amazon is even better.”
“What's so lovely about it?” said Goliath. “Have all the humans there been blown up?”
“Don't think so,” said the bird, giving Goliath a strange look.
In the distance a door slammed.
Limpy stiffened. He squinted toward the house. A human was coming down the steps from the deck, carrying a bag of nuts.
“Ah,” said the bird. “Afternoon tea.”
“Hop for it,” said Limpy to Charm and Goliath.
They both hesitated. Limpy could see they were thinking about letting the human have it with their weapon of choice.
He grabbed them and dragged them toward the flower bed, crook leg trembling with the effort.
Finally they stopped resisting and the three of them dived under some big leaves. When they'd stopped panting, Limpy noticed Charm wasn't looking at him quite as gratefully as she usually did when he rescued her.
“Limpy,” said Charm. “I know you want to keep me safe, and I appreciate it, but don't you think I'm getting a bit big for you to be bossing me around?”
“Me too,” grumbled Goliath.
Limpy didn't know what to say. Charm hadn't grown at all since she was little. Neither had Goliath's brain.
“No offense, Limpy,” said Charm gently. “But if I'm going to be bossed around, I prefer someone a bit old and wise to do it. Someone like Aunty Pru.”
“Me too,” said Goliath. “Except not Aunty Pru'cause she uses long words.”
Limpy stared at Charm, thoughts racing.
Of course. That's what we need. Someone older and wiser to give us advice on how to live in peace with humans.
“You're a genius,” said Limpy, hugging Charm.
“What about me?” said Goliath. “I had the idea about peeing on the pizzas.”
They found Aunty Pru on the road leading out of the suburb. She was staring at something small and flat on the tarmac.
“Aunty Pru,” called Limpy from the edge of the road. “Can we ask you something?”
Aunty Pru looked up, startled. Then her face broke into a big wrinkled smile as she recognized Limpy and Charm and Goliath.
“G'day, young uns,” she said. “Fire away, I'm all ears.”
Goliath stared at her, looking confused.
“No, she's not,” he whispered to Limpy. “Most of those are warts.”
Limpy ignored Goliath.
“Aunty Pru,” he said. “What's the best way of living in peace with humans?”
“A way that doesn't involve going into supermarkets,” said Charm.
“It's war, isn't it?” said Goliath.
Aunty Pru frowned thoughtfully. “Funny you should ask,” she said. “I've just been thinking about that.”
She stared at the tarmac again.
For a long time.
“When I said she uses long words,” muttered Goliath, “I really meant long pauses.”
Finally Aunty Pru spoke again.“The thing about humans,” she said,“is they're complicated. Some creatures they like, some creatures they don't like. Dogs, for example, they like. And cats.”
“And birds,” said Charm.
“Some birds,” said Aunty Pru. She pointed to the tarmac at her feet.“This little bird they drove over and squashed. Come and look.”
Charm and Goliath started to hop toward her. Limpy grabbed them. He shook his head to remind them of the rule.
Never go onto a road unless you really have to.
He knew Aunty Pru would be reminding them of the rule if she wasn't having such deep thoughts.
“I don't think I'll ever understand humans,” Aunty Pru was saying as she stared down at the road.
Limpy heard a distant roar. He looked along the road. A truck was coming.
“Aunty Pru,” he said. “A truck's coming.”
She didn't seem to have heard him or the truck.
“Aunty Pru,” called Charm. “Truck approaching.”
Aunty Pru still wasn't looking up. She was just staring at the flat bird, lost in thought.
“Aunty Pru!” yelled Goliath. “Move your butt!”
Limpy glanced anxiously at the truck. He saw it was a supermarket truck and it was getting close.
“Aunty Pru!” he screamed. So did Charm.
Limpy hopped