Toad Away - Morris Gleitzman [18]
Later on, the kids fell asleep.
Limpy turned round slowly on the boy's knee, careful not to wake him.
“Goliath,” whispered Limpy. “Are you OK?”
“No,” said Goliath, wriggling uncomfortably on the girl's lap. “My dress is too small.”
“I think it looks nice,” said Limpy.
“These earrings are stabbing my ears,” said Goliath.
“That's a shame,” said Limpy. “They match your eyes.”
“And these shoes are killing my feet,” said Goliath. “Every time I try and kick them off, I stab myself in the ankles with the high heels.”
Limpy sighed.
Goliath just didn't understand how important it was to the future well-being of cane toads everywhere to be a good pet.
“This is good,” whispered Limpy to Goliath. “If humans start adopting cane toads as pets, our problems are over.”
“No, they're not,” grumbled Goliath. “This lipstick tastes yuck.”
Limpy had to admit he didn't feel completely good either, but he was pretty sure he would once his new owner worked out his tummy size.
Then Goliath noticed his little girl was asleep.
“I'm out of here,” he muttered.
Before Limpy could stop him, Goliath hopped onto the back of the seat and swung himself across the ceiling of the plane, hanging by his arms.
Limpy went after him, clinging desperately on to reading lights and air-flow nozzles. Luckily most of the passengers were still asleep, and those that were awake were watching a movie on the screen at the front of the cabin.
Limpy prayed none of them would cop a high-heel shoe in the head.
“Goliath,” whispered Limpy. “Come back. If you start a fight now, it'll delay the next meal.”
Goliath obviously hadn't thought of this, because he stopped so suddenly his wig fell off.
Unfortunately he stopped right in front of the movie projector box. His shadow loomed onto the screen. Limpy got to him as fast as possible and pulled him away.
By then, the passengers watching the movie were on the edges of their seats, thrilled by the sudden brief appearance in a teen love scene of the sinister shadow of a large toadlike monster.
Limpy felt like his brains were going to plop out through his ears.
Relax, he told himself. It's natural to feel like this when you're being carried upside down by one leg, especially in a strange airport.
Limpy hoped the little boy didn't suddenly get overtired after the long flight and drop him.
He glanced over at Goliath, who was upside down too, clasped by the little girl to her chest.
Goliath didn't look too good.
His dress was bunched up round his neck and his shoes were on back to front. Limpy wasn't sure if he was scowling or just trying to take his earrings off with his mouth.
Hope he doesn't pop a brain-wart, thought Limpy anxiously. If he starts spraying poison pus around here, we're done for.
The kids’ parents were standing at a counter showing a couple of small books to a human official. Limpy didn't want to think what the official would do with his gun if Goliath started shooting off at the glands.
Luckily Goliath looked too weary for that.
Then the little girl grabbed Goliath's hand and tried to jam his fingers up his nostrils.
“Baby pick nose,” she said.
Limpy didn't understand what she was saying, and he could see Goliath didn't either, but he hoped it was “Try and stay loose and floppy like your cousin Limpy so the official thinks you're just a stuffed toy or novelty pencil case.”
Whatever the little girl said, it must have worked, because when she gave up trying to fit Goliath's big fingers into his nose, Goliath didn't make a fuss. He just looked a bit disappointed, and the official waved them all through.
Suddenly they were in the biggest room Limpy had ever seen. It was even bigger than the supermarket, freezer included. Luggage was rumbling round on long, flat giant snakes and humans were bumping into each other with big trolleys on wheels.
The kids’ father went over toward a luggage snake and their mother bent down and wiped the girl's face with a tissue.
Then she saw Goliath.
“Lucy!” she yelled. “Where did you get that ghastly thing? Put