Toad Away - Morris Gleitzman [28]
Limpy flexed his glands as a flying beetle with razor-sharp jaws hurtled toward him.
I wish I'd understood this before, thought Limpy as he hit the beetle full in the face with a perfectly aimed droplet of poison pus.
But I do now.
Limpy found Goliath nearby in the forest, trying to train an army.
“Atten-shun!” yelled Goliath.
Several rows of termites stood to attention in the thin streams of moonlight, but a large column of ants ignored him and started eating the termites.
“At ease!” yelled Goliath.
A platoon of ticks stood at ease on the belly of a small furry animal, but a squadron of bats swooped down and the ticks dived for cover.
“Face the front!” yelled Goliath.
The bats formed a wobbly line. Limpy could see Goliath's problem. As well as trying to stay in parade-ground formation, the bats were also sucking the furry animal's blood out through the tick bites.
“No!” yelled Goliath. “Hopeless. What was I saying before about discipline? It's not enough being perfectly formed killing machines. If you lot are gunna wipe humans off the face of the planet, you need discipline. And bombs, but we'll talk about that later.”
Limpy tapped Goliath on the shoulder.
“Sorry to interrupt,” he said. “I need some military advice.”
“Shoot,” said Goliath.
A raiding party of highly toxic caterpillars raised their barb-bristling thoraxes into firing position.
“Not you,” said Goliath.
“Make up your mind,” said the caterpillars, lowering their thoraxes.
“Goliath,” said Limpy. “If an individual was going to do a commando attack against the humans, inflicting as much damage as possible, where would be the best place to do it?”
“You mean,” said Goliath, “what's their weak spot?”
Limpy nodded.
“Oil,” said Goliath. “They can't exist without it. You've seen them on the highway at home. Without oil they'd be carrying those cars on their backs.”
A platoon of turtles thought this was hilarious.
“Silence!” yelled Goliath.
The turtles ignored him.
“The great thing about oil,” said Goliath, glaring at the turtles, “is that if you set fire to it, it burns really well. If you're lucky, it explodes.”
Limpy remembered the oil pipeline they'd seen earlier that day.
“Thanks,” he said. “That's exactly what I wanted to know.”
“You're welcome,” said Goliath. “Sharing information and working together, that's the way to win a war.”
He looked meaningfully at the bats, who were still sucking.
Goliath's right, thought Limpy grimly as he hopped away.
That's exactly what this is.
War.
Limpy had to wait until morning before he could attack because he needed the sun to blow up the oil pipeline.
“Ow,” said the butterfly who was helping him.“That sun's hot.”
“Sorry,” said Limpy. “But that's the whole point.”
“Explain it again,” said the butterfly.
Limpy explained again how if there was a highway nearby with broken headlights on it like at home, he could use the glass to focus the sun's rays and ignite the oil. But because there wasn't, the transparent wings of a butterfly were the next best thing.
“Why do you have to fold them?” complained the butterfly. “When I agreed to help you, you didn't say anything about folding.”
“Doubles the magnification,” said Limpy. “Won't be long now. Just think of your poor dead family members, crushed by those bulldozers.”
The butterfly did that.
“Heartless brutes,” it sobbed.
Limpy thought about his poor dead family member and her lovely smile that he'd never see again.
It helped him concentrate on focusing the sun's rays onto the oil stains. They were seeping out of what he was pretty sure was a pumping station. He could hear a rhythmic wheezing under the cracked metal cover that sounded exactly like Goliath's chest when Goliath tried to suck the petrol out of parked cars through their exhaust pipes.
“How are we doing?” said the butterfly.
“Nearly there,” said Limpy.
The oil under the sunny spot was starting to smoke. Once it burst into flames, Limpy planned to dive for cover with the butterfly while fire