Toad Away - Morris Gleitzman [3]
Limpy hurled himself forward and managed to give her something soft to land on.
Him.
“Sorry, love,” panted Mum as she helped him up and pumped air back into his chest. “I'm not a very good commando.”
“What are you doing here?” wheezed Limpy.
Mum looked at the ground. “I thought if we defeated the humans in a war,” she said quietly, “our relatives would stop being squashed on the highway and your room wouldn't get so cluttered.”
Limpy sighed. Mum was always going on about the dead rellies stacked up in his room. He didn't know why. He kept them tidy and dusted.
Dad hobbled over, wincing as he pulled creeper barbs out of his shoulders. “I just want a little respect,” he said. “Humans don't have to stop killing us completely, but I just want them to respect us a little more.”
“I want them to stop killing us completely,” said Charm, scowling through the bits of bog leech splattered on her face. “If they don't, I'll squirt them.”
Limpy stared at his family. He felt weak with shock—and from the impact of Mum's bottom.
“I thought it was a real battle,” he said. “I thought you were going to be killed.”
Mum patted Limpy's hand.
“Sorry we didn't tell you about all this,” she said.“Goliath reckoned you'd chuck a wobbly if you knew we were doing military training, you being a peace lover and all.”
“Actually,” said Dad, “I think it's Goliath who's chucking the wobbly.”
Goliath was storming toward them, waving his stick in fury.
“This is not good enough!” he roared. “An army without training and discipline isn't an army, it's a pathetic rabble.”
“Accept it, love,” said Mum to Goliath. “That's what we are.”
The other cane toads gathered round, nodding.
Suddenly Limpy didn't feel weak anymore. He pulled himself up to his full height, hoping his crook leg wasn't making him tilt over too much, and looked around at the other cane toads.
“I know how you feel,” he said. “I want to make things better for us too. But starting a war isn't the answer.”
“Why?” demanded Goliath. “Are you scared we'd lose?”
“Partly,” said Limpy. “Humans are bigger than us and they have guns and bombs and many other weapons of mass destruction, including pies. But there's a more important reason. If we start trying to hurt and kill humans, that makes us as bad as them.”
The other cane toads thought about this. After a while, quite a few of them croaked their agreement.
Goliath threw his stick away and slumped down into the mud.
“You always spoil my plans,” he complained to Limpy. “It was the same when I had that great idea about training worms to crawl down our throats and into our tummies while we're asleep.”
Limpy gave one of Goliath's big warts a sympathetic squeeze. Then he looked around at the other cane toads again. “There's only one way we can survive,” he said. “We've got to find a way to live in peace with humans.”
He was just about to say “and I think we can do it” when the air was filled with a loud mechanical roar.
It was coming from some distance away, but getting closer.
And louder.
Limpy had a horrible thought. The humans must have found out about Goliath's war plans and were attacking first.
“Take cover!” he yelled. “Watch out for truck tires and sausage rolls!”
The cane toads scattered. Limpy grabbed Charm. Goliath grabbed Mum and Dad. They all dived into a bog hole at the edge of the clearing.
The engine roar was deafening now and the mud under Limpy's chin was vibrating.
Suddenly trees on the other side of the clearing started to topple. Something huge was pushing them over. Limpy saw it was a bulldozer driven by one of the human picnickers, who was now wearing a yellow plastic helmet. Two other bulldozers roared into view.
“You mongrels!” yelled Goliath.“Some of my friends live in those trees! And some of my meals!”
Limpy dragged Goliath back down into the hole. They all huddled together, deafened by the noise of the bulldozers and the crash of falling timber. Limpy