Toad Away - Morris Gleitzman [44]
Charm hopped back over, breathless and excited.
“Why did you do that?” said Limpy, stunned.
Charm gave him a patient smile. “Remember when you visited the ancient human?” she said. “How he asked you to pee in the water pot?”
“Yes,” said Limpy, puzzled.
“That's because,” said Charm, “many generations ago, one of the ancient human's ancestors made a wonderful discovery. If a human, every full moon, drinks a tiny drop of cane-toad urine, that human will be blessed with a long and healthy and happy and peaceful life.”
Limpy stared at Charm.
“That's the ancient wisdom the old human told me,” she said. “That's how we can help humans to be happy and friendly, like the people in the Amazon village.”
Limpy took this in.
He liked the sound of it.
“But,” said Charm, “the pee must only come from a cane toad who feels warm and friendly toward humans. Which is why you and I can do it but Goliath can't yet.”
“I feel warm toward the mongrels,” muttered Goliath. “Honest.”
“Be patient, love,” said Mum, giving Goliath a squeeze. “You'll get there.”
Limpy put his arms round Charm and gave her a huge hug, his warts tingling with love and gratitude.
“Thank you,” he said.
“It was a difficult and dangerous quest,” said Dad.“You all deserve our thanks.”
“Including me,” said Goliath.
Already Limpy was imagining the suburbs of Australia full of cane toads doing their bit to help humans become healthier and happier and less interested in violence and killing.
Brave noble cane toads sidling unseen up to cups and mugs and glasses and bottles and peeing in them.
“Well,” said Mum. “What do you think?”
“Worth a try?” said Dad.
“I think it's definitely worth a try,” said Limpy.
His eyes met Charm's and Goliath's, and he could see they did too.
Limpy smiled happily.
With a sister like Charm and a cousin like Goliath, anything was possible.
CARKED: Dead. Always followed by the word “it.” As in “Will Wally be coming to Dave's funeral?” “No, he's carked it too.”
CHIPS: Small pieces of fried potato. Known in some places as French fries. But not in France, where they are called fried potato.
CHUCK A WOBBLY: Experience a fit of anger, anxiety, fear, or stubbornness. Doesn't have to take place on a skateboard or while belly dancing. An Australian might say, “That's the third earthquake this week. If there's another one, I'm gunna chuck a wobbly.”
COP THAT/THIS: “ Please receive what I'm about to give you,” an expression usually followed by a punch, a gift, a meal, some information, or a demonstration of romantic love. If you cop a lot of anything in Australia, you're getting it in bucket loads whether you want it or not. E.g., TV weather report: “Sydney will be copping a lot of scorching heat this weekend, so wear a hat if you're punching or kissing anyone out of doors.”
CROOK: (1) Angry. (2) Ill or damaged rather than criminal. Limpy's crook leg is the result of a truck driving over it. At no stage has his crook leg ever tried to rob a bank or falsify corporate accounts.
ECHIDNA: A spiny anteater. A protected form of wildlife in Australia (unlike the ant).
FLOATIE: An inflatable or foam device to help unsure swimmers stay afloat in pools and at the beach. Can be used in the bath if you're very nervous.
GOANNA: An Aussie lizard. Can run very fast, unless trying to pull something heavy along the ground.
GOBSMACKED: Stunned with surprise and/or amazement. If you ever find yourself gobsmacked while swimming in deep water, perhaps because you see somebody with a floatie shaped like a yabbie, be careful, or you could end up carking it. (See carked, floatie, and yabbie.)
KNICKKNACK: Small ornament beloved by most mothers on their birthdays, but only when purchased legally. (See nick.)
MATE: Friend, comrade, buddy. Used a lot when people are being helpful and friendly. “Hey, mate, if that's your wombat over there lying on his back with his legs in the air, I think he's a bit crook.” “Thanks, mate.” (See crook, wombat.)
NICK: Two meanings in Australia: (1) Steal. (2) Leave a place briefly. On the occasion