Toad Heaven - Morris Gleitzman [38]
Limpy fought to control his bladder. He wasn't thinking clearly, but he was pretty sure doing a wee up a crocodile's nose wouldn't be a good idea.
The crocodile's mouth opened more.
Limpy was dimly aware of voices behind him on the riverbank.
“No!” screamed Charm.
“He's got poison pus!” yelled Goliath. “If you eat him, you'll get a bellyache!”
“And he's been injected with germs!” shouted Charm. “That bump on his back is full of them! So he's in no way a health food.”
Limpy felt himself moving backward at speed. Then the snout flipped and he somersaulted through the air and landed facedown in the mud of the riverbank.
I don't believe it, thought Limpy, frozen with terror and relief. The croc's thrown me back.
“Thank you,” he croaked, too weak to turn round.
He waited for Charm and Goliath to come and help him up.
After a bit, he realized they weren't coming. They were standing well back, clutching each other and screaming things like “Look out!” and “Behind you!” and “Hop for it!”
Limpy looked over his shoulder.
And nearly fainted again.
The crocodile was half out of the water, and its massive wide-open jaws were moving closer, filling the blood-red sky.
“Stop,” said Limpy. “You don't have to do this. I know you're not really a vicious coldhearted scavenger. That's just the way humans see you. I know that inside you're warm and kind.”
The jaws didn't slow or waver.
They kept coming down until Limpy was swallowed up in their darkness.
The darkness slid from Limpy's eyes.
Limpy realized it wasn't darkness, it was mud.
He sat up.
“Ow.”
His back hurt a lot.
Charm and Goliath were bending over him. Charm was doing something to his back.
“Ouch,” said Limpy. “Don't.”
“I'm trying to stop the bleeding,” said Charm.
Limpy didn't understand. He'd just been bitten by a crocodile. By rights, all Charm should be able to do at this point was try and fit him into a hamburger bun.
“Stack me,” said Goliath. “This is weird.”
Limpy was about to agree when he saw that Goliath was holding a small square of black plastic.
“This was in your back,” said Goliath. “The croc bit your lump and it popped out.”
Limpy still didn't understand. Why would the croc only bite his back lump when there was a whole back and a head and two arms and one and a half legs to chew on?
“Tracking device,” said a deep rumbling voice behind Limpy.
Limpy nearly jumped out of his skin.
He squirmed painfully around.
The crocodile was sprawled half out of the water, massive jaws resting on the bank, looking at the piece of plastic Goliath was holding.
“I knew that lump on your back wasn't virus germs,” said the crocodile. “My brother-in-law had one, only bigger and uglier. Tracking device. Human scientists put them in so they can keep track of us. Sends out signals they can pick up miles away.”
Limpy stared at the crocodile, then took the square of plastic and stared at it.
“A tracking device?” he said to the crocodile.
The crocodile looked at Charm and Goliath. “Not very quick, is he?”
“He's in shock,” said Charm. “We all are.”
“So was my brother-in-law,” said the crocodile. “Went with his missus on a second honeymoon up north. Next thing he knew a chopper full of humans appeared out of nowhere and took them both off to a farm.”
“A farm?” said Limpy nervously. “What sort of farm?”
“A crocodile farm,” said the crocodile very slowly, rolling its eyes at Charm and Goliath.
“I knew that,” said Goliath.
The crocodile leaned forward and took the tracking device out of Limpy's hand with its front teeth and crunched it into pieces.
“Does this mean,” said Charm to the crocodile, her voice wavering,“that Limpy doesn't have virus germs?”
“When did the scientist jab you?” said the crocodile to Limpy. “If that's not too hard a question.”
Limpy thought hard. “Four days ago,” he said.
“If you had virus germs,” said the crocodile, “you'd have been dead two days ago.” The crocodile gave a wistful snort. “Number of rabbits I had to spit out a few years ago.”
Limpy turned to Charm and Goliath. He could tell from their faces that they had