Toad Heaven - Morris Gleitzman [43]
“Really?” said Limpy.
“I don't hate them,” said Goliath. “I think they're yummy.”
“Don't even think about it,” said Charm. “Come on, let's get Mum and Dad under cover.”
Before Limpy could move, the humans turned and saw the ants all over their vehicle. They rushed over, beating at them with their hats.
“Why don't they spray it?” said Charm.
“Probably dissolve their duco,” said Limpy.
Although he knew he should be helping Mum and Dad, Limpy couldn't tear his eyes away from the humans.
One of the humans had ants swarming up both legs. The human realized, but too late. One of the ants bit him. He flinched from the sting. For all the other ants on his legs, this was a signal. They all bit him together.
The human screamed and fell to the ground, flailing at his legs with his hands.
Stack me, thought Limpy.
Even though humans could be pretty cruel, he didn't like seeing anyone suffer like that.
“Poor mongrel,” muttered Goliath. “I know I should be pleased, but I'm not.”
Limpy's mind was a whirl of thoughts.
The other human was beating at his mate with a shirt, trying to knock the ants off him. He didn't have a hope. And if the ants bit the first human again, things wouldn't look good.
Limpy turned to Goliath.
“Go on,” said Limpy. “Dinnertime.”
Goliath's eyes widened with delight.
“Thanks,” he said.
He hopped over toward the two humans.
Limpy held his breath and watched. He glanced at Charm. She was watching intently too. Limpy could tell from her expression that she was hoping for the same thing as him.
The human on the ground saw Goliath hopping toward him, and his face twisted with revulsion.
“Arghhh!” he screamed. “Now I'm being attacked by a cane toad! Get away, you ugly brute!”
The other human grabbed a spade from the side of the four-wheel drive and raised it above his head.
“Goliath!” yelled Limpy. “Look out! Hop for it!”
Goliath didn't hear, or pretended he didn't.
The human with the spade suddenly saw that it was covered in ants and that they were running up his arms. He dropped the spade and started flapping his arms frantically.
The human on the ground was getting pretty frantic too.
Goliath had almost reached his legs.
“Don't bite me!” screamed the human, rolling over and trying to kick Goliath.
Goliath dodged the kick and opened his mouth.
The human screamed again.
Goliath's tongue shot out and slid along the human's leg. In an instant it was coated with ants. Goliath swallowed happily.
The human started to yell some more, then realized what Goliath had done. And, Limpy saw excitedly, was doing again. And again.
The human's face collapsed into relief and amazement as he stared at Goliath's busy tongue. Soon Goliath had eaten all the ants off one leg and was starting on the other.
“You little beauty,” gasped the human.
Limpy didn't know what the human had said, but he could tell the human was pleased. It looked like Goliath could tell too, because he was eating even faster.
The human looked as though he wanted to kiss Goliath.
“Hey, look at this!” he called delightedly to his mate.
“Me next!” yelled the other human, still flapping his arms. “Me next!”
Limpy stood in the mouth of Ancient Eric's cave and surveyed his swamp.
It was looking good.
Everyone was safely home, the snakes were back in the stew, Ancient Eric was out of his pizza box and laid to rest in a properly constructed memorial bog, and the moonlight was gleaming on the water in a way that made Limpy's warts feel more tingly than human soft drink.
I never liked that national park swamp as much as this one, thought Limpy happily. No way.
Mum and Dad hopped over.
“Oh, Limpy,” said Mum, her face glowing. “We're so happy to be home.”
“We're proud of you, son,” said Dad. “When you were a tadpole and that flood washed away most of your brothers and sisters and you got wedged in that rock, I knew you were destined for great things.”
“Thanks, Dad,” said Limpy, glowing.
Mum gave him a kiss on the warts.
“We're so lucky,” she said. “Having you to keep us