Trading Christmas - Debbie Macomber [120]
“When did it really matter?”
Cait ignored the question, thinking the answer was obvious. “You casually turn me over to Paul as if you can’t wait to be rid of me. Obviously you couldn’t have cared less.”
“I cared,” he shouted.
“Oh, right,” she shouted back, “but if that was the case, you certainly didn’t bother to show it!”
“What was I supposed to do, challenge him to a duel?”
He was being ridiculous, Cait decided, and she refused to take the bait. The more they talked, the more unreasonable they were both becoming.
“I thought dating Paul was what you wanted,” he complained. “You talked about it long enough. Paul this and Paul that. He’d walk past and you’d all but swoon.”
“That’s not the least bit true.” Maybe it had been at one time, but not now and not for weeks. “If you’d taken the trouble to ask me, you might have learned the truth.”
“You mean you don’t love Paul?”
Cait rolled her eyes again. “Bingo.”
“It isn’t like you to be so sarcastic.”
“It isn’t like you to be so…awful.”
He seemed to mull that over for a moment. “If we’re going to be throwing out accusations,” he said tightly, “then maybe you should take a look at yourself.”
“What exactly do you mean by that?” As usual, no one could get a reaction out of Cait more effectively than Joe. “Never mind,” she answered, walking to the door. “This discussion isn’t getting us anywhere. All we seem capable of doing is hurling insults at each other.”
“I disagree,” Joe answered calmly. “I think it’s time we cleared the air.”
She took a deep breath, feeling physically and emotionally deflated.
“Joe, it’ll have to wait. I’m in no condition to be rational right now and I don’t want either of us saying things we’ll regret.” She held open her door for him. “Please?”
He seemed about to argue with her, then he sighed and dropped a quick kiss on her mouth. Wide-eyed, she watched him leave.
Lindy was waiting in Cait’s office early the next morning, holding two cups of freshly brewed coffee. Her eyes were vulnerable as Cait entered the office. They stared at each other for a long moment.
“Are you angry with me?” Lindy whispered. She handed Cait one of the cups as an apparent peace offering.
“Of course not,” Cait murmured. She put down her briefcase and accepted the cup, which she placed carefully on her desk. Then she gave Lindy a reassuring hug, and the two of them sat down for their much-postponed talk.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Cait burst out.
“I wanted to,” Lindy said earnestly. “I had to stop myself a hundred times. The worst part of it was the guilt—knowing you were in love with Paul, and loving him myself.”
Cait wasn’t sure how she would have reacted to the truth, but she preferred to think she would’ve understood, and wished Lindy well. It wasn’t as though Lindy had stolen Paul away from her.
“I don’t think I realized how I felt,” Lindy continued, “until one afternoon when I tripped over a stupid cord and fell into Paul’s arms. From there, everything sort of snowballed.”
“Paul told me.”
“He…told you about that afternoon?”
Cait grinned and nodded. “I found the story wildly romantic.”
“You don’t mind?” Lindy watched her closely as if half-afraid of Cait’s reaction even now.
“I think it’s wonderful.”
Lindy’s smile was filled with warmth and excitement. “I never knew being in love could be so exciting, but at the same time cause so much pain.”
“Amen to that,” Cait stated emphatically.
Her words shot like live bullets into the room. If Cait could have reached out and pulled them back, she would have.
“Is it Joe Rockwell?” Lindy asked softly.
Cait nodded, then shook her head. “See how much he’s confused me?” She made a sound that was half sob, half giggle. “Sometimes that man infuriates me so much I want to scream. Or cry.” Cait had always thought of herself