True believer - Nicholas Sparks [123]
“What if I told you that I love you?”
She stared at him for a long moment before turning away. “Don’t say that.”
He took a step toward her. “But I do,” he said. “I love you. I can’t help the way I feel.”
“Jeremy . . . please . . .”
He moved more quickly, sensing that he was finally breaching her defenses, his courage building with every step. “I want to make this work.”
“We can’t,” she said.
“Of course, we can,” he said, rounding the car. “We can figure this out.”
“No,” she said, her voice growing more adamant. She took a step backward.
“Why not?”
“Because I’m going to marry Rodney, okay?”
Her words stopped him cold. “What are you talking about?”
“Last night after the dance, he came by and we talked. We talked for a long time. He’s honest, he’s hardworking, he loves me, and he’s here. You’re not.”
He stared at her, stunned by her announcement. “I don’t believe you.”
She stared back, her face impassive. “Believe it,” she said.
When Jeremy failed to say anything, she handed him the diary, then raised a hand in a brief wave and began to walk backward with him in her sights, much the way she had that day at the cemetery.
“Good-bye, Jeremy,” she said before turning to get in her car.
Still frozen in shock, Jeremy heard the ignition turn over and saw her look over her shoulder as she began to back out. He strode forward to put his hand on the hood, trying to stop her. But as the car started to move, he let his fingers glide along the damp surface and finally took a small step back as the car slid into drive.
For an instant, Jeremy thought he caught the flash of tears in her eyes. But then he saw her look away, and he knew once and for all he wasn’t going to see her again.
He wanted to shout out, telling her to stop. He wanted to tell her that he could stay, that he wanted to stay, that if leaving meant losing her, then going home wasn’t worth it. But the words stayed trapped inside him, and ever so slowly, the car rolled by him, picking up speed as it made its way down the drive.
In the fog, Jeremy remained standing, watching until the car turned shadowlike and only the taillights were visible. And then it vanished completely, the sound of the engine fading into the woods.
Twenty
The rest of the day passed as if he were watching it through someone else’s eyes. Hurt and angry, he barely remembered following Alvin along the highway back toward Raleigh. More than once, he glanced in his rearview mirror, staring back over the black asphalt, watching the cars that followed in the distance, hoping that one of them was Lexie. She’d been perfectly clear in her desire to end the relationship, but even so, he felt a surge of adrenaline whenever he saw a car that resembled hers, and he would slow down to get a better look. Alvin, meanwhile, would move farther into the distance. Jeremy knew he should be paying attention to the road beyond the windshield; instead, he spent most of his time looking back.
After dropping off his rental car, he paced the terminal and made his way to the gate. Walking past crowded shops, veering around people who were scurrying his way, he wondered again why Lexie seemed so willing to give up everything they’d shared.
On the plane, his thoughts were interrupted when Alvin took a seat next to him.
“Thanks for making it so we could sit together,” Alvin said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He stored his bag in the overhead bin.
“Huh?” Jeremy said.
“The seats. I thought you were going to take care of them when you checked in. It’s a good thing I asked when I got my boarding pass. I was supposed to sit in the last row.”
“Sorry,” Jeremy said. “I guess I forgot.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” Alvin said, dropping into the seat next to him. He glanced at Jeremy. “You want to talk about it yet?”
Jeremy hesitated. “I’m not sure there’s anything to talk about.”
“That’s what you said earlier. But I’ve heard it’s supposed to be good for you. Haven’t you been keeping up with the talk shows lately? Express your feelings, purge your guilt, seek and ye shall find?”
“Maybe later,” he mumbled.
“Suit