True believer - Nicholas Sparks [98]
“Probably,” he admitted.
She thought about what he’d said, touched by the effort he had made to come today.
“Okay,” she said. “There’s an early ferry we can catch. We can be back in town around ten.”
“Thanks,” he said.
“And you’re going to film tomorrow night?”
He nodded. “I left a note telling Alvin to go to the cemetery tonight, but we have to film elsewhere, too. And tomorrow’s going to be a full day, anyway. There are some loose ends I have to tie up.”
“What about the barn dance? I thought we had a deal that if you solved the mystery, I’d dance with you.”
Jeremy lowered his head. “If I can make it, I will. Believe me. There’s nothing I want more.”
Silence filled the room.
“When are you going back to New York?” she finally asked.
“Saturday,” he said. “I have to be in New York for a meeting next week.”
Her heart sank at his words. Though she already knew it was coming, it still ached to hear him say it. “Back to the exciting life, huh?”
He shook his head. “My life in New York isn’t all that glamorous. For the most part, it’s about work. I spend most of my time either researching or writing, and those are solitary endeavors. Actually, it can get pretty lonely at times.”
She raised a brow. “Don’t try to make me feel sorry for you, because I’m not buying it.”
He glanced at her. “What if I mentioned my creepy neighbors? Would you feel sorry for me then?”
“No.”
He laughed. “I don’t live in New York for the excitement, no matter what you might think. I live there because my family’s there, because I’m comfortable there. Because it’s home to me. Just like Boone Creek is home to you.”
“I take it your family is close.”
“Yeah,” he said, “we are. We get together almost every weekend at my mom and dad’s in Queens for these great big dinners. My dad had a heart attack a few years back and it’s tough on him, but he loves those weekends. It’s always a real zoo: a bunch of kids running around, Mom cooking in the kitchen, my brothers and their wives standing around in the backyard. Of course, they all live nearby, so they’re over there even more often than I am.”
She took another drink, trying to picture the scene. “Sounds nice.”
“It is. But it’s hard sometimes.”
She looked at him. “I don’t understand.”
He was quiet as he rotated the bottle in his hands. “Sometimes I don’t, either,” he said.
Perhaps it was the way he said it that kept her from saying anything; in the silence, she watched him closely, waiting for him to continue.
“Did you ever have a dream?” he asked. “Something you wanted so badly and just when you think you’re about to reach out and grab it, something else takes it away?”
“Everyone has dreams that don’t come true,” she answered, her voice guarded.
His shoulders slumped. “Yeah,” he said, “I guess you’re right.”
“I’m not sure what you’re trying to tell me,” she said.
“There’s something you don’t know about me,” he said, turning to face her again. “Actually, it’s something I’ve never told anyone.”
At his words, she felt her shoulders tense. “You’re married,” she said, leaning back.
He shook his head. “No.”
“Then you’re seeing someone in New York and it’s serious.”
“No, that’s not it, either.”
When he said no more, she thought she saw a shadow of doubt cross his face.
“It’s okay,” she offered. “It’s none of my business, anyway.”
He shook his head and forced a smile. “You were close the first time,” he said. “I was married. And divorced.”
Expecting far worse, she almost laughed aloud in relief, but his somber expression restrained her.
“Her name was Maria. We were fire and ice at first, and no one could understand what we saw in each other. But once you got past the surface, we shared the same values and beliefs about all the big things in life. Including our desire for children. She wanted four, I wanted five.” He hesitated when he saw her expression. “I know that’s a lot of kids these days, but it was something we were both used to. Like me, she’d come from a large family.” He paused. “We didn’t know there was a problem right away, but after six months, she still wasn’t pregnant, and