True Porn Clerk Stories - Ali Davis [12]
What I learned in Women's Studies is that porn is not necessarily degrading. What I've learned at the video store is that sometimes it is.
My position on porn hasn't really changed. I would still defend to my death the right to produce it. I just sometimes wish they wouldn't.
3 Actually, the title is Grudge F*ck. There’s a picture of a guy reaming a woman right on the box. Why did they get squeamish about the F-word?
4 I have since learned that More Dirty Debutantes was really about actresses who were making their debuts in adult films, not about women from the yacht club circuit getting down.
Our Heroine Has More Inner Fortitude Than She Thought.
This is -- almost -- a story of triumph.
I've always been worried about what I'd do if I actually caught a jerker in the porn section. I mean, of course, while I'm physically in the porn section. Catching someone on the security camera didn't bother me: Call the police and collect a bonus for busting a creep. Big deal. My only concern on that count was who's responsible for cleanup.
But actually catching someone while down there has always been a concern. I'm 5'3" -- not a terribly imposing presence. While, as I've said before, most of the people who attempt to masturbate in the store are cowards, there are no guarantees. I've read more than one study that indicates that rapists start off with indecent exposure before graduating to scarier, more violent stuff. It wasn't like it was a constant fear for me, but it certainly popped into the back of my mind more than once.
And it had been in my mind recently because Jonathan caught a jerker a couple of weeks ago. By the way, it turns out the managers are willing to take care of the mopping.
The porn section is not completely isolated from the upstairs counter, but it's a hike. You could get around (or over) the counter and downstairs in maybe ten seconds. The whole section is covered by the cameras, but we usually have the sound off unless we're watching someone in particular. On the other hand, you can hear someone making loudish noises like knocking over shelves in the straight section. Essentially, one could get help from upstairs, but not without a few seconds' delay.
OK, so I have thought about it some. But I've honestly never known how I'd react. Scream? Run? Quietly go upstairs and then get help? What?
I found out this weekend. I was bored out of my skull about halfway through my usual nine-hour Saturday Shift of Doom, and I was downstairs putting tags back out. There was only one other person down there -- a young guy, not a regular. I'd been keeping one eye on him anyway because he was wearing way more coat than he needed, which is the I'm-gonna-steal-a-box uniform.
We were on opposite sides of the room with our backs to each other. Gradually, I became aware of movement behind me. I turned around. His pants were drooping a few inches below the waistband of his boxers. He had snaked his right arm up underneath his coat and it was moving rhythmically.
For a second, I just stared.
Then, before I knew it, I heard a new voice coming out of my mouth. It was a furious principal's voice, a drill sergeant's voice, Sigourney Weaver's voice just as she's about to wax an alien. It came up from the diaphragm, resonating through my chest, deep, powerful and furious.
"PUT IT AWAY AND GET OUT!"
He dropped the box he'd been holding and whipped around, eyes huge with astonishment.
He had been scratching his stomach.
Interesting Porn Phenomena
1. Beth's First Law of Tag Replenishment:
Of any ten tags you need to put away, nine of them will be in front of the big creepy guy who won't move.
Ali's Corollary:
Of these nine, at least five will require you to bend or crouch in such a way that your head is right in front of his groin.
2. Porn Trance
This is the odd, timeless zone that people go into when studying the boxes. Lone porn renters go into it immediately and resent being pulled out.
Group renters never intend to go into Porn Trance. They start out laughing