Under The Net - Iris Murdoch [82]
Not that far, I was pretty sure. Or would it depend how angry he was? A mental picture of his sitting-room as I had last seen it rose before me and I groaned. The only possibility was that he might have forgotten about the cheque altogether. 'You spoke to Sammy personally on the phone?' I asked Dave. 'Yes,' he said, 'from a call box, of course.' 'And was he angry?' 'He was murderous,' said Dave. 'Did he say anything special?' I asked. 'Now I come to think of it,' said Dave, 'he did. I meant to tell you earlier. He said, tell Donaghue he can have the girl and I'm keeping the cash.' I could have wept. Then of course I had to tell them all about it. I went and fetched the cheque and we looked at it together. It was like viewing the corpse of a loved one. Finn said he had never seen a cheque for so much money. Even Dave was moved. 'Now I must go to Paris!' I said. With the world owing me so much money something radical had to be done at once. Finn was studying Sammy's statement of account. 'There's still Lyrebird,' he said. 'He can't take that back.' 'It only hasn't won yet!' said Dave. 'You two watch the papers,' I said. 'I've got about sixty pounds in the bank. How much can you put up, Finn?' 'Ten pounds,' he said. 'And you, Dave?' I asked. 'Don't be a fool!' said Dave. Finally we agreed that a stake of fifty pounds should go on the horse from the three of us. We were all a little unhinged still by the loss of the six hundred and thirty-three pounds ten. After that we discussed the question of the letter. I maintained my view that our dealing should be with Sadie. I was still wounded by Dave's conjecture, and I recalled with some distress how Sadie had said that she liked me. If there had been more time I would have speculated about whether this had influenced my decision. It wasn't, however, a moment for indulging in analyses of motive. If one has good reasons for an action one should not be deterred from doing it because one may also have bad reasons. I decided that scruples were out of place here. Sadie was more intelligent than Sammy, and as far as this adventure was concerned Sadie was the boss. Also she had not had her curtains wrenched out of the wall and her sitting-room turned upside down. That Sadie might still fancy me was neither here nor there. I didn't like it, all the same, and I was impatient to be off. We agreed finally that Dave should write a simple letter over my signature to Sadie proposing an exchange of Mars for a formal recognition of my status in the matter of the translation and an adequate compensation for the use which had been made of it. We argued for some time about what compensation we should demand. ' What are you after,' as Dave put it, 'restitution, damages, or revenge?' Finn thought that we should make it a straight case of blackmail and ask for as much as we thought we could get by the detention of Mars together with veiled hints about a possible deterioration in his health, and suggested five hundred pounds. Dave thought that we should only ask whatever might have been the fee charged for a preview of the translation. He said that he had no idea what this would be, and that strictly it was owed to the publisher and not to me, but that in the circumstances and in order to uphold my dignity I might ask for fifty pounds. I thought that I needed to receive not only the regular fee but also compensation for the theft of the typescript, and suggested modestly two hundred pounds. In the end we fixed the sum at a hundred pounds. I felt this was very tame; but I was now thoroughly obsessed by the idea of going to Paris and I would have agreed to anything. I signed my name at the foot of a number of sheets of paper, on one of which Dave was to type the letter when he had drafted it along the lines we had agreed upon. Dave wanted me to suggest some endearments or personal touches which could be added to make the letter look more authentic; but I insisted that it must remain completely impersonal and businesslike. I very reluctantly gave Dave a blank cheque. Then I set off to Victoria to catch the