Undisputed_ How to Become the World Champion in 1,372 Easy Steps - Chris Jericho [139]
A few months later, her health was in a horrible state and her body was simply shutting down after fifteen years of fighting. She was taking a myriad of drugs but after a while they were only prolonging her agony and not helping her feel any better at all.
She got to the point where she told her neighbor Connie (who was like her sister, much closer to her than anyone else, including me) that she was done with the drugs. When Connie said that without the drugs she would die, my mom told her she was ready for whatever happened.
My mom didn’t have much control over anything in her life anymore, but she did have power over whether or not she wanted to stick around. She had such drive and stubborness (a trait that I inherited directly from her that I call Iron Will); when she made up her mind about something, there was no deterring her.
Now she had made up her mind that she was ready to move on, and that was the end of it.
I arrived in Winnipeg from L.A. on a Thursday night. The doctor told me that she could be alive for two more days or two more months, it was just a matter of how long it took for her body to shut down. I went into her room and she looked frail and almost deformed. I hadn’t seen her for a few months and her body had contorted inward as her bones shrunk. She gazed at me and I could see a flash of recognition in her face, but she didn’t say anything. She could still talk but was beyond having a conversation, and as the night went on she started blurting out things that didn’t make any sense. She asked me to turn her in her bed, and when I told the orderly on duty he said, “She was just turned ten minutes ago, she’s not supposed to be turned again for another two hours.”
Five minutes later, she asked me again, “Will you turn me?”
A few minutes later she asked me to turn her again and then asked me what my name was. Then she told me to leave her alone.
It broke my heart.
I knew she wasn’t in her right mind, but it still tore me apart to have this woman who had meant everything to me acting like I was a total stranger. I sat by her bed for hours and I’m not sure she even knew I was there.
I asked the doctor for his opinion on her condition. He looked at me gravely and said, “You should say your goodbyes and go. You could be here for a month and she’s just going to keep deteriorating. I don’t know if you want to put yourself through that.”
I didn’t know if I wanted to either. I knew my mom needed me, but I’d been there for her constantly for fifteen years and didn’t think I could handle her asking me what my name was or telling me to leave her alone anymore.
We had a string of Fozzy shows scheduled in Florida and I thought it might be best to just do them and come back to Winnipeg after. It was almost Christmas and I prayed she would make it long enough for us to spend one more holiday together.
I asked my dad for his advice and he thought it was a good idea to get away, clear my head, and come back. I’d been talking to Benoit daily about the situation also and he had the same suggestion. So I made up my mind to do the gigs, and when I went to see her before I left, her condition had worsened. She asked me if I was the repairman and then told me to leave again. My mom was definitely gone and so was I.
Before I left, I touched her hand and asked her to make her peace with God. I told her she was going to a place where she was finally going to be free to walk again. I prayed with her, asking God to forgive her for her sins and to accept her soul into his kingdom.
When I was done, she smiled and whispered, “Go.” Then she closed her eyes.
My mom had always been a proud woman, a beautiful woman, and I’m sure she didn’t want me to see her in this state any longer. She didn’t want me to see her die. She had always been fiercely protective of me and this was the last way she could shelter me from the rain and keep me safe.
I knew that she loved me, but the lady lying there