Undisputed_ How to Become the World Champion in 1,372 Easy Steps - Chris Jericho [50]
Maybe he was right?
Even if he was, he was certainly wrong about one thing: the “With the Fire” video does not suck. If you don’t believe me, Vince, go watch it right now.
I’ll wait.
CHAPTER 13
Love at Full Volume
By December 1999, Jessica and I had been together for a year and a half. Things were going great in our relationship and I loved her very much, so I decided it was time to take the plunge and ask her to marry me.
I thought it would be a froot idea to pop the question at the stroke of midnight on January 1, 2000, just as the new millennium began. At the time, the entire planet was nervous about the potential onslaught of the Y2K virus, which could apparently destroy life as we knew it. From what I’d heard there were plenty of similarities between getting married and the end of the world, so I figured my timing was apropos. I didn’t believe that Y2K was really going to be the end of the world, but I’d listened to enough Art Bell on late-night radio to be prepared in case something did happen.
Jess and I strike our best thrash metal pose. Lars and James would be proud.
I bought multiple boxes of Tang, bottled water, protein bars, protein drinks, and stashed $5,000 in cash at the bottom of a drawer just in case all of the world’s power went out and I was left in the dark like Snake Plissken at the end of Escape from L.A.
I figured in the wake of the Y2K cataclysm, water and cash would be at a premium, and with my foresight and preparation I would rule the world … or at least my neighborhood. But in the end nothing happened and I was left with two dozen boxes of powdered orange crystals. Cocaine for Oompa-Loompas.
When it came time to find the wedding ring, I had no idea where to start. I asked The Rock if he had any ideas, and he mentioned that he’d bought his wife’s ring in New York City from the father of one of the WWE office employees. So one night after a Garden show, I went to the jeweler’s house to find the perfect ring. I was traveling with Jeff Hardy that weekend, so the two of us perused the selections one by one. I narrowed it down to three final choices, all of them beautiful and unique. I wasn’t sure which one to pick so I asked Jeff which one I should choose and the Charismatic Enigma made the final decision on the ring that my wife is wearing right now. Shhhhh … don’t tell her.
When I gave Jessica the ring and asked her to marry me at the stroke of midnight, she said yes, and the world didn’t end. As a matter of fact, my world was about to get a whole lot better.
I had my bachelor party at Wise Guys, the bar I went to after my first match in Winnipeg. It didn’t take long for Drunkicho to surface, and he was a total barbarian. When he drank a shot, he celebrated by smashing the glass against the wall. When a fan was kind enough to order him and his friends a round of drinks, he repaid her by pouring them all over her head … and smashing the glasses against the wall. Not wanting to be left out, he poured the next round all over himself.
All of this ridiculosity was left untouched by the bouncers and bartenders, maybe because the owners felt indebted to me due to my endorsement the year before? Either way they said nothing even when I decided to get behind the bar and pour drinks … and then smashed the bottles against the wall.
Jessica and I decided to have our wedding in July, and while Winnipeg has ridiculously cold winters, it also boasts sweltering hot summers. So our guests were forced to sit outside pouring sweat in the scorching July sun as they waited for the ceremony to begin. However, there was one guest who could have cared less how hot it was and would’ve waited until she melted for the wedding to begin: my mom.
She had been