Undisputed_ How to Become the World Champion in 1,372 Easy Steps - Chris Jericho [6]
So I was tapped to be The Rock’s replacement, but unfortunately I had ignored the number one rule of wrestling—always bring your gear. So I sped thirty minutes back to my mom’s house to get my tights and got back to the arena just in time to hear the announcement that The Rock was not going to be there but Chris Jericho would be wrestling instead.
Eight thousand fans farted in unison.
Actually they began cheering and throwing their panties in the air, even the dudes. They were going to get to see their hometown hero make his WWE wrestling debut in front of their very eyes!
I was pretty excited myself, as it was the first time I had wrestled in the arena where I had first seen my heroes Hulk Hogan, the High Flyers, Shawn Michaels, Ricky Steamboat, and Randy Savage in action. It was within these hallowed walls that I discovered my love for the business, and it was within this old barn I would have my debut match in the WWE.
The idea of a Nightstick on a Pole match was that you had to climb a pole sticking up out of the turnbuckle and grab the nightstick, which you could then use to brutalize your opponent in any way you saw fit. The nightstick was several feet above the turnbuckle, so you had to climb to the top rope, shimmy up the pole, and get the weapon. This allowed for plenty of drama as the two foes attempted to climb only to be knocked down just before they could grab the stick. It was a fun and easy match—under normal circumstances.
Hearing the crowd’s reaction when my name was announced gave me a chubski. When I walked through the curtain, the roar I received was so loud it made the response I got in Chicago seem like the reaction for a Bullet Boys reunion. Peggers were jumping up and down, holding jericho signs in one hand, draft beers in the other, and giving each other high fives with both. In retrospect, I’m glad I didn’t go through with the heel promo. Sometimes you have to give the people what they want.
I got in the ring and surveyed the crowd—my crowd—and got ready to give them exactly what they wanted: a great performance from their new hero. I had gone from sitting in that same crowd fantasizing about being in the ring, to actually being there.
My dream had come true! The circle of life had closed! I had returned to Winnipeg to entertain the fans the same way I had once been entertained, and I was going to reward them by having the greatest five-star match of all time in honor of my fans, my friends, my family, my …
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“It’s the Jericho Curse and I’m back, bitch!”
Ahhhh yes, my old nemesis was back in the hood and he was pissed. It had been a while and he was ready for more revenge than Bruce Kulick.
I’ll never forget the roar of the crowd when the bell rang to start the match. I’ll also never forget the feeling I had when I gave Bossman a shoulder tackle and the nightstick hit the mat two seconds after he did.
At first I thought someone in the crowd had thrown their own nightstick into the ring, but when I glanced up at the pole I realized that it was our nightstick that was lying there. Someone had forgotten to properly tie it to the pole, which allowed it to fall off its perch as soon as Bossman shook the ring with his first bump. The weapon was a mere eight inches from where I was standing, and instead of an exciting match full of drama and suspense, we now had a game of pickup stick.
We spent the remainder of the match trying to grab the baton rolling around in the middle of the ring. We scrambled for it like a fumble and it kept slipping through our hands, as if it were a greased Steely Dan. The match absolutely sucked and the Jericho Curse