Undisputed_ How to Become the World Champion in 1,372 Easy Steps - Chris Jericho [82]
But the advantage that HHH and I had over Rock and Hogan was the Undisputed Championship. If booked properly, a well-thought-out angle centering around the ultimate prize in the business could compete with the magic of two legends facing each other for the first time.
But it wasn’t.
I pitched a lot of ideas, but in my opinion one of them in particular could’ve made a huge difference in the way our match was perceived. The story would begin after HHH returned at the Royal Rumble. He would be in the ring on Raw telling the fans how great it was to be back when I would come out to confront him and give him some serious news. In the seven months he was away from the WWE, his wife, Stephanie, was having an affair. I was only telling him about it because I obviously had a huge dislike for Steph and did some serious detective work in order to bust her. In the course of my investigation, I’d found out that she was having an affair with RVD.
Then I’d run hidden camera footage of his wife in bed experiencing unlawful carnal knowledge with a guy with a long brown ponytail grinding on top of her. Trying to gain his trust, I’d attempt to soothe his heartbreak.
“I hate to show you this, but you needed to see the real tramp that you married.”
HHH would be steaming with anger and betrayal as he watched the video. The footage would continue until the guy with the ponytail rolled over and we would see that he wasn’t actually RVD, he was actually me.
As the footage ended, I’d be standing behind him with his very own sledgehammer and bang the shit out of him, the same way I just had his wife.
I thought Stephanie having an affair with her former worst enemy was the perfect twist to the story. She would justify her actions by saying, “You know how hard it is for a woman to be on the road by herself—she has needs! Needs that can only be satisfied by a champion.” I would justify my actions by saying I knew that HHH would be returning to gain revenge for me causing him to tear his quad in the first place. Therefore I needed to gain a psychological edge against him, and what better way to do that than by shtuping his wife?
But my idea was canned due to the mindset that HHH wasn’t the kind of babyface who would be stupid enough not to know his wife was cheating on him. The whole plan was scrapped—well, almost all of it.
The last part of my story was that I would be totally pussywhipped by Steph and become a shameless patsy who did whatever I was told no matter how bad she treated me. I thought it would be a great way to get heat if the World Champion was an avatar for Stephanie McMahon. It was the only part of the story that Vince liked, but now the problem was I was pussywhipped without the pussy.
Now I was just whipped—which was apropos, because I became Stephanie’s personal Kunta Kinte. She would send me out for groceries, make me sweep the floor, carry her bags, whatever. I wasn’t the World Champion anymore so much as Stephanie McMahon’s lackey— a fact that was made evident in the WrestleMania matchup graphic. It said: “HHH vs Chris Jericho w/Stephanie McMahon,” with me in the background behind her shoulder.
Stephanie and I had amazing chemistry, but I was disappointed with our storyline in the buildup to WrestleMania X8. The good news? At least I’m in the foreground of this picture.
The buildup to the match was weak and began with me stealing HHH’s first ring robe, a purple velour monstrosity given to him by Killer Kowalski, only for him to get it back later in the show.
When Stephanie and HHH’s dog Lucy pooped all over my dressing room in Detroit, I had to clean up the scheisse. Then when she told me to walk Lucy, I accidentally ran the mutt over.
I was the World Champion as played by Lloyd Christmas. Needless to say, it didn’t work. Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair, and Bret Hart had been tremendous heel champions who got red-hot heat due to their exploits in the ring and the dirty tactics they used against their opponents. I was an average heel champion who got lukewarm heat due to my exploits of