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By Root 1670 0

go to Smackdown! Everybody would find out what show they would end up on that night—except me. I was ineligible to be drafted because I was in a handicap match with Stephanie against HHH, where the winner would become the Undisputed Champion and work on both shows. I knew I wasn’t going to be winning the match and the title, but nobody would tell me what show I was going to end up on. When I asked Brian, he told me I would have to wait until they posted the complete draft results on WWE.com after the show. It was the most ridiculous thing ever. And to make matters worse, I had to start driving as soon as I was finished and had no access to a computer, so I was forced to call Lenny in Vancouver to find out where I was going to end up. In essence, I found out my fate at the same time all of you did.

And if you don’t remember what show I ended up on, you’ll have to go to @iamjericho on twitter.com to find out.

CHAPTER 25

Jelly of the Month Club

In the WWE, you get your PPV checks about three months after the show takes place. It’s a strange system where you really don’t know what you’re going to get until you get it. The number on the check is determined from a combination of the live gate, the PPV buyrate, and your place on the card. I was expecting my WrestleMania check in June and was curious to see what I’d get. I’d been in the technical main event of the show, and the second biggest match on the card. I had always heard that when you wrestled in the main event of Wrestle Mania, you made in the high six figures and in some cases even seven.

That’s why I was stunned when I opened the envelope and saw a check for five figures. Now, first off, believe me when I say that under normal circumstances a five-figure check is a big chunk of change—but this was WrestleMania and I felt that I should have made more. To give you an example of what I’m talking about, I made almost double that for the Invasion PPV and I was one part of a ten-man tag. Mania buyrates were bigger, the show was held in a stadium, and I was in the championship match that closed the show. Something had to be wrong, and as it stood, I felt like Clark Griswold getting a subscription to the Jelly of the Month Club for his Christmas bonus.

A week later I asked HHH how much he had made for Mania. He told me the number and I nodded and excused myself. I walked outside to the back of the arena in Columbia, South Carolina, and blew a fucking gasket.

He’d made almost five times as much as I had.

I was furious and insulted. I would’ve understood if he’d made a little bit more, as he was the returning babyface and the bigger star, but five times more!?!? I called Shane-O Mac and told him that I was so angry and hurt that I felt like quitting. He told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to talk to Vince about it face-to-face.

I called Vince and left a message telling him I needed to speak to him. The next day, I arrived in Greensboro, North Carolina, and waited in his office with Jim Ross. I told JR how slighted I felt and how I didn’t want to work for a company that held me in such little regard. Jim explained to me that he and Vince determined payoffs based on who they thought the fans were paying to see.

“Vince felt that in this match, people were paying to see HHH win the title.”

“I have no doubt about that, Jim, and I have no problem with that mindset. But it takes two guys to make a match and to sell it to the fans. I don’t care that Hunter got a bigger piece of the pie, it’s the fact that he got 83 percent of the pie that I have a problem with.”

JR nodded in agreement, and shortly afterwards Vince came into the office smiling.

“So what’s the problem?”

“The problem is, Vince, I got my check for WrestleMania and I understand how you grade the payoffs, but this is completely insulting. I mean I don’ t—”

Vince cut me off. “I’ll take care of it. JR, cut him another check.”

He walked out of the office, leaving JR and me staring at each other.

“Well, that was easy,” said the Okie from Muskogee.

A week and a half later, I received a check in