Unequal Childhoods - Annette Lareau [113]
One striking though unintended result of Mr. and Ms. Handlon’s tendency to actively encourage Melanie to take activities she does not seek out herself is the speed and frequency with which she will complain, “Mom, I’m bored!” Ironically, although we observed this same pattern of self-proclaimed boredom among other seemingly very busy middle-class children in the study, we did not find it among the comparatively “underscheduled” working-class and poor children.
CULTIVATING ACADEMIC SUCCESS:
INTERVENING AT SCHOOL
Like other middle-class mothers, Ms. Handlon plays an active role in monitoring, criticizing, and intervening in Melanie’s schooling. She tries to work closely with Melanie’s teachers. At the beginning of the school year, for example, she brings Melanie, who is sick, to school for a brief visit so that her daughter can meet her teacher. Once Melanie is feeling better, Ms. Handlon inquires about the work missed, queries the teacher about items she did not understand, and works to facilitate her daughter’s transition into fourth grade.
She kind of felt lost because kids had already gone over a lot of the things and Melanie didn’t understand what was going on. So I went in, basically, every morning and talked with the teacher and asked questions.1
Melanie’s minor illnesses persist and so too do her mother’s interventions. Hoping to keep Melanie from falling behind, Ms. Handlon requests that the teacher send home spelling lists in advance. She photocopies each new list when it arrives and then cuts it up to make flashcards, gluing each word to an index card. She brings the cards along when she and Melanie go out on errands; as they drive around in the car, they practice spelling the words. Melanie consistently ranks at the bottom of her class academically. The Handlons have hired a private tutor for Melanie, but Ms. Handlon worries that her daughter is “intimidated” and that school is a “negative” experience for her. She believes that Melanie lacks self-confidence and that “she needs something that [gives] her a positive feeling.” She makes these opinions very clear to Melanie’s teacher during a conference. In a parent-teacher conference with Ms. Nettles, Ms. Handlon makes a pointed comment that Melanie’s social study teacher has placed too much emphasis on the negative in grading a test:
With the social studies test that she brought home with the big N (Needs Improvement—this is the lowest grade possible) on the top of the paper. I looked at it and I counted all the ones she got right. I said, “Melanie, compared to the last social studies test, you got like eighteen right on this one.” I said, “That’s a lot more than you got right on the last test so you have improved.” Now, looking at the paper she couldn’t see that. It was just a negative, an N . . . So, I’m trying to get her to start recognizing her positives.
Ms. Handlon’s comments during the parent-teacher conference demonstrate her belief that she is entitled to point out what she sees as the teacher’s failings with respect to the conduct of Melanie’s education. This is a perspective widely shared by middle-class parents, including the many mothers with whom Ms. Handlon interacts when she brings Melanie to and from school or other events. Ms. Handlon’s role as the local Girl Scout leader also provides her with informal opportunities to exchange information about routine and unusual happenings at the elementary school.2 Ms. Handlon knows that many mothers have complaints of one kind or another and that many are engaged in specialized pursuits for their children.
Being embedded in a social network of middle-class mothers shapes Ms. Handlon’s sense of her rights and her responsibilities with regard to Melanie’s education.3 She and the other mothers seem comfortable passing judgment on all aspects of their children’s schooling, critiquing everything from teachers’ pedagogical