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By Root 1513 0

can create acute discomfort in their children and may decrease rather than stimulate students’ motivation to work hard in school. Thus, any advantages that might result in instances where educators do recognize parents’ capital can be negated by the children themselves. Second, educators frequently adopt a relatively rigid definition of what constitutes helpful behavior; parents’ actions that fall outside those bounds are ignored or discredited. Thus, parents who repeatedly fail to sign and promptly return to school the forms teachers send home, for example, are considered seriously remiss, regardless of their social class standing. Third, even with similar levels of class resources, some parents may be able to activate the resources more effectively than others. Although Stacey’s and Melanie’s mothers were equally devoted to their daughters, Ms. Marshall seemed to be able to make more headway than Ms. Handlon.

Ms. Handlon was not alone in trying to be helpful with her children’s schooling but not realizing the advantages she had hoped for. Working-class and poor parents often had that experience, as I show in the following chapters, beginning with the experience of Wendy Driver.

CHAPTER 10

Letting Educators Lead

the Way: Wendy Driver

I don’t want to jump into anything and find out that it’s the wrong thing. (Ms. Driver)

This is Wendy’s work. She spelled “driver” wrong. . . . If it was me, if our roles were reversed [and I were her parent], I’d be beating [the teacher] on the head. (Mr. Tier, Wendy’s fourth-grade teacher, speaking to her mother during a parent-teacher conference)

Across all social classes, parents pay close attention to their children’s education. Working-class and poor parents are no less eager than middle-class parents to see their children succeed in school. They take a different approach to helping them reach that goal, however. As Wendy Driver’s mother indicates in the quote above, working-class and poor parents often fear doing “the wrong thing” in school-related matters. They tend to be much more respectful of educators’ professional expertise than are their middle-class counterparts. Thus, working-class and poor parents typically are deferential rather than demanding toward school personnel; they seek guidance from educators rather than giving advice to them; and they try to maintain a separation between school and home rather than foster an interconnectedness. Ironically, as Wendy’s fourth-grade teacher’s comment suggests, educators often are not happy with this approach. They want parents of their working-class and poor students to be more assertive. Put differently, they wish these parents would engage in forms of concerted cultivation.

The pattern of parental deference to educators is not the result of idiosyncratic differences in parents’ personalities. The same parents we observed silently accepting different teachers’ (sometimes contradictory) assessments of their children were firmly vocal with their cable companies, landlords, and local merchants. Working-class and poor parents are capable of being demanding with other adults. Rather, they do not define this approach as appropriate when dealing with school or medical professionals, perhaps in part because they lack the requisite vocabulary to effectively challenge such individuals. Moreover, these parents view education as the job of educators and thus they expect teachers and school staff to be the ones primarily responsible for seeing that their children learn all that they should.

Finally, there are underlying elements of resistance to the deference working-class and poor parents exhibit toward educators. Mothers who nod in silent agreement during a parent-teacher conference may at home, and within earshot of their children, denounce the educator as unfair, untrustworthy, or mean. Particularly in the area of discipline, working-class and poor parents are likely to regard the school’s approach as inappropriate. Many encourage their children—in direct violation of school rules—to hit peers who harass them, specifically