Unequal Childhoods - Annette Lareau [182]
Middle-class parents would likely find it difficult to be in a situation where their children were only “one step ahead of the cheetah.” Likewise, most middle-class youth in that situation would likely seek the comfort of their parents’ interventions. In many of the working-class and poor families, however, both parents and youth conceptualized young adults as “grown,” and therefore capable of solving (most of) their own problems. For example, although, as noted earlier, Wendy declined to attend Alvernia, the small Catholic college where she had been accepted, she did decide to enroll at the local community college.
I even applied to Community. I was going to Community in January. I had applied. I went down. They wanted me to go to night school: it was a whole free [learning disability] program, and I had to go for six months.
Unfortunately, these initial efforts faltered. On the basis of her placement test results, she was told that she would have to take remedial courses, for which she would not earn college credit. This seemed unreasonable to her, given her honors in high school:
I want to go to a class to get credit first. They said, “No.” They wouldn’t do it. If I paid for the [learning disability] program then I could do it. . . . I tried to talk to the guy. I don’t want to take [the non-credit course], and they didn’t want to hear it!
Unlike many of the middle-class youth, when faced with these complications, Wendy did not involve her parents. She saw these problems as her own to overcome.
Wendy felt that the program staff misunderstood the nature of her disabilities. She wanted a program similar to the one that she had been offered at Alvernia:
[At Alvernia] I would have been in a regular class. [There would have been a] note taker and testing accommodation: [for a] three-hour test I would have six hours. The teacher could read the test to me. [I would] have chances to retake the test to get a better grade. Alvernia was going to have that plan.
The lack of flexibility at the community college bothered Wendy. She did not go back. When asked if she had considered having her parents go to the community college to help her, Wendy bristled. Noting her status as an autonomous, responsible adult, she replied,
I was old enough to make my own decisions. I knew what was wrong with me. My parents could have come down, and they [the program officers] basically would have told them the same thing. I didn’t want that. I am eighteen. I am old enough to make my own decisions!
A middle-class parent such as Ms. Marshall might have called the program administrator, submitted documentation on the nature of her daughter’s disability, hired a private psychologist to test her, or paid privately for the learning disabled program for one semester. Wendy, who at the time was only seventeen years old, could not think of any options other than accepting the remedial placement or not enrolling. Since she was “grown,” it was unacceptable to involve her parents; furthermore, Wendy did not think that her parents would do anything different than what she had already done. Thus, despite her original intent, Wendy never attended college.
In some instances, working-class and poor parents were quite effective in helping their children sort out problems with institutions. Billy Yanelli enjoyed recreational use of marijuana, but during his apprenticeship as a unionized house painter, he was required to submit to random drug tests. After one