Unequal Childhoods - Annette Lareau [60]
Jenna, seeking to reassure her mother, says, “Don’t worry. You don’t have to feed me.” Nine-year-old Katie is keenly aware of her family’s limited resources. She rejects Jenna’s logic, saying, “Well, it’s still forty dollars.”
Doing laundry, a tedious but straightforward chore in middle class homes, is cumbersome, expensive, and frustrating for Ms. Brindle. She finds it difficult to keep a sufficient supply of quarters available. Banks often refuse to sell rolled coins to noncustomers; she does not have a bank account (using money orders when necessary). The grocery store, which does provide quarters, is a twenty-minute bus ride away. Of much greater significance, however, is the fact that the three washers and two dryers at the apartment complex are routinely out of order:
CiCi says, “I wish I had a car to drive. I’m almost out of clothes.” (She looks at her pile of dirty clothes next to the love seat.) I ask, “Is the washing machine broken?” She replies, “When I first went down, I was freakin’ out. I went down and the water was coming out of the washers. Today the washers were still full of water. And I went to the ones up [at a nearby complex]. They were locked, so I think they’re messed up too. . . . The heat isn’t on [in the laundry room]. It’s ridiculous . . . that’s why the pipes broke. It’s forty below and stuff.”
For Katie, broken washing machines sometimes mean no school. In rare cases when she is completely out of clean clothes, she has to stay at home until the laundry can be done.
Having to rely on public transportation, particularly with young children, also makes life more difficult. Little things like handing the fare to the bus driver can be challenging if you are juggling a toddler, a diaper bag, and packages. Similarly, once on the bus, even seated it can be tiring to hold or watch over young children on long rides. Buses often are late, sometimes don’t come, and always are much slower than traveling by car. Finally, taking public transportation can be hazardous. Mothers and children stand out in the heat in summer, in the cold in winter, and in rainstorms many months of the year. Buses travel along busy streets, so as they wait at bus stops, parents must watch children very closely to make certain that they keep away from oncoming traffic. Melmel likes buses; he seems to relish the sensation of movement. And Ms. Brindle sometimes uses bus rides as an opportunity for one-on-one time with her son. For example, while riding to a municipal court session (to contest her eviction notice), she smiles at Melmel and says warmly, “Melmel, I love you!”7 A ride in a car is always preferable, if it can be arranged. In Ms. Brindle’s case this is difficult because her brother’s car is sometimes not running and even when it is, her schedule and his are hard to coordinate. The same is true for her mother’s car. In addition, child car seats are required by law, but they are expensive, heavy, and difficult to move from car to car. When Melmel rides in his grandmother’s car, which has no car seat, she keeps an eye out for the police. If she sees a police officer, she pushes her grandson down below the level of the car windows, trying to hide him from view. She says she feels “like a criminal.” She can’t afford to be caught: “The ticket is a thousand dollars!”
Much as with transportation, poor families have few choices about where they live. Thus, Katie’s family makes do with roaches in their apartment, a poorly maintained building, snow and ice on the steps, chronically broken appliances, and leaky plumbing. So far, though, they have been “lucky” with their neighbors, meaning that no serious threats have materialized in this apartment building. Ms. Brindle’s former sister-in-law and close friend, Mary, was not so fortunate. Drug dealers moved into the complex.
Despite its many problems, the Brindles’ apartment at least provides the family with an autonomous, private living space. Midway into