Unequal Childhoods - Annette Lareau [65]
It’s just that it gives her something to do and to be with other kids and that makes her feel better, to do that, instead of being home and being bored . . . It makes her happy, you know. It gives her something to do. I have no complaints.
She does more than provide verbal support. Ms. Brindle makes a special trip to the store and spends money that could have been used for many other purposes to purchase a special dark skirt that Katie wore at the choir’s holiday performance.12 What Ms. Brindle doesn’t do that is routine for middle-class mothers is view her daughter’s interest in singing as a signal to look for other ways to help her develop that interest into a formal talent. Similarly, Ms. Brindle does not discuss Katie’s interest in drama or express regret that she cannot afford to cultivate her daughter’s talent. Instead, she frames Katie’s skills and interests as character traits—singing and acting are part of what makes Katie, Katie. She sees the shows her daughter puts on as “cute” and as a way for Katie “to get attention.” She thinks that other people telling Katie that she is doing a good job might give her daughter more confidence, but she does not see developing Katie’s incipient talents as part of her role as a mother.
There is no emphasis on providing materials Katie might use at home to further develop her creativity. Moreover, because children in poor neighborhoods have relatively few possessions, creating entertainment from makeshift sources is common. For instance, all of the makeshift costumes Katie and Amy so enjoy playing with remain stashed at Grandmom’s; Katie has none at her apartment. While middle-class homes typically have a nearly inexhaustible supply of paper, crayons, markers, stickers, and assorted other craft supplies for children’s use, the Brindle house has none, literally. The family does not own a ruler or marking pens. Paper of any kind is in short supply. When Katie fashions snowflakes from clean cardboard she found in a dumpster at the apartment complex, her mother accepts the one Katie has made for her, saying only, “Winter will be over soon.” She offers no praise, no comment about Katie’s resourcefulness or creativity. Ms. Brindle sees these various creative endeavors as Katie’s projects, not hers. Thus, when Katie asks her to help build a dollhouse out of a cardboard box, she refuses, casually and without guilt.
Similarly, Ms. Brindle does not seem to think that Melmel needs any special assistance or toys. She appears to see little difference between Melmel’s entertaining himself by pounding on the coffee table, rolling around on the floor, or poking Jenna’s puppy versus playing with his “developmentally appropriate” toys, which except for special occasions, remain neatly stacked in a closet.
Certainly, the many burdens in Ms. Brindle’s life contribute to her relative inattention to the details of Katie’s leisure pursuits. The economic burdens are formidable and are compounded by her daughter’s health problems. But, large as those problems are, they probably account only in part for the approach Ms. Brindle takes. Even if she had less on her mind, Katie’s mother probably would not substantially change how she views her daughter’s talents or alter her response to Katie’s bids for adult attention. She tries hard to meet her children’s basic needs. She is willing to sell her belongings and move a thousand miles away in order to care for her oldest daughter. She enjoys seeing Katie having fun with her cousin, Amy, and Melmel swaying with the movement of the bus. But nurturing her children’s creative development is not something she sees as her responsibility. In general, she believes that children’s play is for children.